Relationship Advice From An Amateur

Helluuuuur everyone!

To state the obvious - it's been... a while... and I'm sorry :(

Today, I thought I'd cover a topic close to home - sacrifices & compromises.

**Please review these words prior to reading any further:

• Sac-ri-fice: an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.
• Com-pro-mise: settle a dispute by mutual concession.
• Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

I think when you are in a serious relationship, it tends to come with the territory that there will be sacrifices/compromises made for each other. That's how relationships work; you both can't always have it your way.  Sometimes you do things to make the other person happy - you may not agree with whatever that is, but you do it out of love.

I like to take the initiative based on what *I* think is right without someone asking me to do so.  I like to compare it to my good friend "Common Sense".

If you have been paying attention - I deleted my Instagram account [insert shocked emoji here].  Then I realized I couldn't promote my blog anymore or see my friends' pretty faces so I made a NEW one.  However, I have it set to private. So for now - it's troll free. [if I haven't added you yet PLEASE send me a request!]

I ASSumed when you got married - or any serious relationship - that you do whatever to make your lover happy.  If you mention something or someone you dislike(d), I would ASSume that meant you would take action in resolving the issue.  Boy was I WRONG!  Apparently that's not a thing, but that's what I get for ASSuming so much.  I recently learned that *I'M* the one who knows nothing about relationships.  Relationships have nothing to do with making sacrifices or compromises.  I'm pretty sure there's a book somewhere out there to learn more about this stuff..?

What's another building block of relationships?  TRUST.  You are supposed to "trust" that when someone tells you something that they are 100% honest.

Well I'll raise you the quote "actions speak louder than words".  You can TELL me that you piss glitter and shit butterflies all you want, but until I SEE it - your words mean nada.

I dislike trusting people.  I've had the luck of getting the short end of the stick quite a few times, so trust doesn't come easy.  When your actions/words start looking/sounding similar to past performances then you best believe my walls shoot up reeeal quick. 

I am one insecure territorial bitch.

I shouldn't have to repeat myself. 
I shouldn't have to constantly ask. 
You shouldn't wait until I break down or snap.

If it means something to me, I would think it meant something to you.

This has been exhausting.  I'm tired... of being tired.  A lot of this makes me question whether someone even really knows me or chooses to ignore everything.

I know it's not always hugs & kisses, but DAMN.  My mind is working overtime on overthinking - quite frankly, it's fkn annoying.  But if I'm not getting the feedback I'm expecting that's where my mind goes. 

I just feel like I'm sitting out there by my lonesome waiting for something that's never going to happen.  I can sit here and pour my heart out, but I'm well aware it won't get me anywhere.  It's like trying to fit a triangle block into a circle - you can't.

So please - SOMEONE educate me or send me in the right direction so I can educate myself.

xo,
sss

THAT Kid - My Opinion

So today I caught up and read another blog post: Dear Parent: About THAT kid and I don't know how to word this without sounding like a complete asshole.

If we're "friends" on Facebook, then you might of caught a post I put up several months ago about my little big man getting punched in the face.  This school year he started at a different school (due to us moving) and from my recollection, it occurred within a week or two of the school year just beginning.  After further inquiry into the incident, I made the assumption the child was special  [please don't be offended by the term, I honestly don't know what term I'm supposed to use to be politically correct]. Obviously, the school could confirm nor deny if my assumptions were correct.  However, regardless if the child was or was not special, I was infuriated that he simply got away with it just because he was different; had it happened by a non-special child - there would have been consequences.  So my son got punched in the mouth all because he said "OH SHOOT!" in response to the other child grabbing him in some awkward hold.  My son was not playing with the other child, but simply walking past him when the other child grabbed him.  It surprised him hence why he replied with "OH SHOOT" not knowing what to do and in return the other child told him to "watch his mouth!" then cue the punch.

Why is that ok?  What are you teaching that child?  That it's ok to hit someone when you don't agree? Where did he learn that when someone does something he thinks is wrong that you're supposed to hit them?  Is that a reflection of his home life? Why do certain kids get certain degrees of punishment?

These were all the thoughts racing through my mind. 

If it wasn't for me staying on it and calling the school repeatedly for answers, I'm sure it wouldn't have played out how it did.  First of all, I found out from the nurse to tell me they were applying ice to his mouth.  I'm sure any parent would of been as stumped as me, wondering "well what happened to his mouth that he needs ice??" I didn't get a phone call from an administrator or a teacher.  Then on top of that, the child didn't even apologize.  I had to call the school and demand the child apologize to my son; it was the least they could do.  I asked for the child to be removed from class or any/all activities with my child.

That's MY kid.  That's MY baby that some stranger hit.

Let's flip the script.  How would it have played out if my son was the one who punched him for saying the same thing?  He probably would of been suspended or something be put in his file.  I'm sure other parents would say he deserved the punishment; and I would probably agree.  However, that's NOT what happened.

If you actually know my son, he is as shy as can be.  He hates confrontation.  He's embarrassed easily.  He is my complete opposite. So to answer your question, he doesn't get in trouble at school.  He's well behaved.  He's quiet in class.  He follows the rules.  When I asked my son how did he feel, he said scared.  Why does my child have to be scared to be at school now?  I'm supposed to be ok with it though, right?  I strongly disagree.  When that child struck my son, he said he didn't know what he was supposed to do.  It's understandable; he was in a lose/lose situation.  If he would have hit him - he would of been in the wrong.  If he didn't, he was in the wrong because we taught him to defend himself against bullies.  I honestly think that's what that other child is - a bully.

So why the hell am I bringing this up again?  Not because I have something against anyone with a disability [shut your mouth] and not for a pity party, but about that blog...  I'm sick of society making EXCUSES for everyone!  You don't have to tell me any background as to why the child acts the way they do.  I just think they should be treated fairly.  When I was younger, if someone was teasing me I was taught to stop playing with them or go tell my teacher if it kept on happening.  Nowadays, as soon as someone says "I don't like you" or "your shirt is ugly" they are instantly identified/labeled as a bully.  How about put your big girl/boy undies on and move on.  You can't sweat every single bad thing said about you.  Don't let them get the best of you.  Not everyone is going to like you.  Not everyone is going to agree on everything either - like I'm sure this post would be somewhat disagreeable.  Oh well.  I'm perfectly ok with that.  These are my personal opinions.  Teaching kids this makes them so overly sensitive.

I want my kid(s) to grow up knowing the world does not revolve around them.  Life happens.  They mean the world to me [above & beyond] and are the most important beings to me, but the world may not feel the same about them.  And that's OK.



xo,
sss

Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween!

This year my little big man decided he wanted to be Ash Ketchum from Pokémon (:  That used to be one of my FAVORITE cartoons when I was younger -- obviously I was stoked.  However, I googled the costume in hopes of finding him one and them mofos were $80+  You have got to be kidding me!  That price was RE-DICK-YOU-LUSS!  Especially for a costume that someone plans on wearing for ONE day/night.  So this year we MADE his costume (: 

I have to admit, my hubby has some awesome sewing skills!  He's such a nice housewife [tee hee not really] or in my words, such a good betch.  He did the sewing and I cut the ribbon and glued it on.  We only ordered the hat; it was $6 on Amazon.  Since it's from Pokémon I'm sure that hat will be put to use more than today. 

I'm pretty sure you're expecting a picture of the costume...?  NOT yet! (:  I'm waiting until tonight when all the kids are together.  Usually him and my nephew have coordinating costumes because they act just like brothers. 

I'm pretty sure I'm more excited than he is for the debut of his costume.

My newbie is going to be a monkey! [Awwwww]  I call him my chunky monkey.  He's so cute I just want to pinch him! [calm your tits, I'm not going to]  After my little big man's costume was coming together, I thought of it a little too late AND after I already bought the newbie's costume - but it would of been pretty dope to have my newbie as Pikachu.  Oh well, maybe next year and so on and so forth? 

I almost forgot to add, but this is my newbie's FIRST Halloween!  So for all my family and friends, expect TONS of pictures.  It'll probably come close to being so many pics that you can put it together like your very own flip book lol

I'm super excited for the kids festivities, but I actually hate Halloween.  It is my least favorite "holiday"....?  [is this really a holiday???]  Other than getting to watch Hocus Pocus and listen to Thriller on repeat - no thanks.  I'm not into the scary/creepy type of shit.  I'm not one of the adults that get all dressed up for today, etc.  And if I did, it was be something fun or skanky [les.be.honest. what chick hasn't], but you'll never see me in some scary outfit.

Anyways... More to come ;)



xo,
sss

This Thing Called Love

 

I love Love.

Kind of; we have a love/hate relationship type of deal going on.

I thought I could share what I've learned about Love; whether it be from my own personal experience or from what I've observed/learned from others.

1.  Love stops time.  At least sometimes it feels that way.  Like when you're with your significant other snuggled up on the couch watching a movie/TV show together, or when you're just riding in the car together singing along to your favorite songs; just enjoying each others company.  Or when you're locked in their embrace and feel the exchange of your body heat from holding each other so close.  Maybe even that moment when your eyes meet right before your lips touch.  It's just the two of you frozen in time [maybe standing in the rain - shut up I watch too many movies] because in that exact moment you're overwhelmed with complete and utter happiness in this perfect Kodak moment with the one you Love.

2. Love is unconditional.  Whether you're a parent or a sibling or a lover - love is unconditional.  I love my boys no matter what.  I'm sure plenty of parents say that, but it's the truth.  There is no word to describe the love you feel for your children [or your fur baby(s) tee hee].  No matter what my children do, my love is unchanging.  Even if my kids hated me for some odd reason [it better be a good one], they will always be my children & I'll still love them.  There is nothing that would change how I feel about them.

3.  Love has more than one language.  As if Love wasn't already complicated...  Everyone should look into The Five Love Languages - it'll blow your mind.  According to the test we took, my husband and I speak the same love language.  However, after further looking into all that shit I believe mine is not the same [it's either Acts of Service or Quality Time].  I demand a re-test [tee hee] But when you do find out each other's love languages, make sure to actually UTILIZE the information.

4.  Love has an expiration date.  It's sad that even canned food can last longer than some of the "love" people feel/express [at least according to Facebook lol].  According to some research, the honeymoon/lovey dovey feeling you experience lasts for a good 2 years.  After that... Good luck! 

**I promise I'm not trying to talk you out of Love**

 

5.  Love can suck.  I'm pretty positive that a lot would agree.  Whether it be because of who you love or the bad luck you have with Love or the things Love makes you do, etc. 

6. You can be IN Love or Love someone.  What. The. Fu*k....?  Have I mentioned how complicated this little shit can be?  In my opinion, to be IN love is more of an emotional high.  It's rather deceiving because a lot of people use the term "falling in love" so once that feeling of "falling" is removed - you have what?  It doesn't require effort like "real" Love. When you experience "real" love, you GROW together.  When you truly love someone you have no regards for their imperfections, but chose to love them because of their flaws/imperfections.  Real love requires effort and is almost like a second job because it requires WORK.

That's all I have for now.  This thing called love is a learning process I don't think anyone will ever fully understand.

xo,
sss



High Expectations

High Expectations.


Hell yea.

I have a problem [one of many].  I've always had it embedded in my mind that because I do something nice for whomever, that it's expected that whomever should return the favor someday.

WRONG.

People don't do nice things for others because they expect something in return, they do it because a.) they're family, b.) they're a good friend, or c.) good people still exist...  I always feel that if I went out of my way to help/assist you or surprise you that you'll remember the gesture & do the same or something similar - or maybe even something way better.

What happens when you have expectations and they're never met?  You're left disappointed.  And ladies and gents, that is the cycle of life.

 

I have this image in my head of what I pictured my life looking like.  Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming of "I wonder if in x amount of years if blank will happen" or "I wonder if the time will come when this happens"...  We're all guilty of it.  I know things happen and plans often change; life throws you curve balls and it's just one big rollercoaster ride [I'm not a fan].  I never thought that everyday meant me second guessing my life decisions.

Being an adult can suck sometimes.

I've just grown tired of the same tired routines, the two-faced people, the same/shady excuses, and so on and so forth.  It's mentally exhausting; everyday shouldn't feel like some uphill battle or Groundhog Day [insert movie reference here].  My 100% is slowly, but surely turning into 100% of "idgaf".  The struggle is real.  I'm kind of torn about it.  You can only be hopeful for so long and that switch in your mind/heart will finally flip and then BOOM - you're done.  I just don't have the time to waste. 

"Some things will never change" -- Guess what!?  YOU can make that change.  I refuse to settle for bullshit [been there, done that].  When you have to sit there and constantly ask yourself why in the hell are you even doing it... Why bother?  If being disappointed a majority of the time leaves you unhappy, isn't it time for a change in pace?



xo,
sss