Relationship Advice From An Amateur

Helluuuuur everyone!

To state the obvious - it's been... a while... and I'm sorry :(

Today, I thought I'd cover a topic close to home - sacrifices & compromises.

**Please review these words prior to reading any further:

• Sac-ri-fice: an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.
• Com-pro-mise: settle a dispute by mutual concession.
• Trust: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

I think when you are in a serious relationship, it tends to come with the territory that there will be sacrifices/compromises made for each other. That's how relationships work; you both can't always have it your way.  Sometimes you do things to make the other person happy - you may not agree with whatever that is, but you do it out of love.

I like to take the initiative based on what *I* think is right without someone asking me to do so.  I like to compare it to my good friend "Common Sense".

If you have been paying attention - I deleted my Instagram account [insert shocked emoji here].  Then I realized I couldn't promote my blog anymore or see my friends' pretty faces so I made a NEW one.  However, I have it set to private. So for now - it's troll free. [if I haven't added you yet PLEASE send me a request!]

I ASSumed when you got married - or any serious relationship - that you do whatever to make your lover happy.  If you mention something or someone you dislike(d), I would ASSume that meant you would take action in resolving the issue.  Boy was I WRONG!  Apparently that's not a thing, but that's what I get for ASSuming so much.  I recently learned that *I'M* the one who knows nothing about relationships.  Relationships have nothing to do with making sacrifices or compromises.  I'm pretty sure there's a book somewhere out there to learn more about this stuff..?

What's another building block of relationships?  TRUST.  You are supposed to "trust" that when someone tells you something that they are 100% honest.

Well I'll raise you the quote "actions speak louder than words".  You can TELL me that you piss glitter and shit butterflies all you want, but until I SEE it - your words mean nada.

I dislike trusting people.  I've had the luck of getting the short end of the stick quite a few times, so trust doesn't come easy.  When your actions/words start looking/sounding similar to past performances then you best believe my walls shoot up reeeal quick. 

I am one insecure territorial bitch.

I shouldn't have to repeat myself. 
I shouldn't have to constantly ask. 
You shouldn't wait until I break down or snap.

If it means something to me, I would think it meant something to you.

This has been exhausting.  I'm tired... of being tired.  A lot of this makes me question whether someone even really knows me or chooses to ignore everything.

I know it's not always hugs & kisses, but DAMN.  My mind is working overtime on overthinking - quite frankly, it's fkn annoying.  But if I'm not getting the feedback I'm expecting that's where my mind goes. 

I just feel like I'm sitting out there by my lonesome waiting for something that's never going to happen.  I can sit here and pour my heart out, but I'm well aware it won't get me anywhere.  It's like trying to fit a triangle block into a circle - you can't.

So please - SOMEONE educate me or send me in the right direction so I can educate myself.

xo,
sss

THAT Kid - My Opinion

So today I caught up and read another blog post: Dear Parent: About THAT kid and I don't know how to word this without sounding like a complete asshole.

If we're "friends" on Facebook, then you might of caught a post I put up several months ago about my little big man getting punched in the face.  This school year he started at a different school (due to us moving) and from my recollection, it occurred within a week or two of the school year just beginning.  After further inquiry into the incident, I made the assumption the child was special  [please don't be offended by the term, I honestly don't know what term I'm supposed to use to be politically correct]. Obviously, the school could confirm nor deny if my assumptions were correct.  However, regardless if the child was or was not special, I was infuriated that he simply got away with it just because he was different; had it happened by a non-special child - there would have been consequences.  So my son got punched in the mouth all because he said "OH SHOOT!" in response to the other child grabbing him in some awkward hold.  My son was not playing with the other child, but simply walking past him when the other child grabbed him.  It surprised him hence why he replied with "OH SHOOT" not knowing what to do and in return the other child told him to "watch his mouth!" then cue the punch.

Why is that ok?  What are you teaching that child?  That it's ok to hit someone when you don't agree? Where did he learn that when someone does something he thinks is wrong that you're supposed to hit them?  Is that a reflection of his home life? Why do certain kids get certain degrees of punishment?

These were all the thoughts racing through my mind. 

If it wasn't for me staying on it and calling the school repeatedly for answers, I'm sure it wouldn't have played out how it did.  First of all, I found out from the nurse to tell me they were applying ice to his mouth.  I'm sure any parent would of been as stumped as me, wondering "well what happened to his mouth that he needs ice??" I didn't get a phone call from an administrator or a teacher.  Then on top of that, the child didn't even apologize.  I had to call the school and demand the child apologize to my son; it was the least they could do.  I asked for the child to be removed from class or any/all activities with my child.

That's MY kid.  That's MY baby that some stranger hit.

Let's flip the script.  How would it have played out if my son was the one who punched him for saying the same thing?  He probably would of been suspended or something be put in his file.  I'm sure other parents would say he deserved the punishment; and I would probably agree.  However, that's NOT what happened.

If you actually know my son, he is as shy as can be.  He hates confrontation.  He's embarrassed easily.  He is my complete opposite. So to answer your question, he doesn't get in trouble at school.  He's well behaved.  He's quiet in class.  He follows the rules.  When I asked my son how did he feel, he said scared.  Why does my child have to be scared to be at school now?  I'm supposed to be ok with it though, right?  I strongly disagree.  When that child struck my son, he said he didn't know what he was supposed to do.  It's understandable; he was in a lose/lose situation.  If he would have hit him - he would of been in the wrong.  If he didn't, he was in the wrong because we taught him to defend himself against bullies.  I honestly think that's what that other child is - a bully.

So why the hell am I bringing this up again?  Not because I have something against anyone with a disability [shut your mouth] and not for a pity party, but about that blog...  I'm sick of society making EXCUSES for everyone!  You don't have to tell me any background as to why the child acts the way they do.  I just think they should be treated fairly.  When I was younger, if someone was teasing me I was taught to stop playing with them or go tell my teacher if it kept on happening.  Nowadays, as soon as someone says "I don't like you" or "your shirt is ugly" they are instantly identified/labeled as a bully.  How about put your big girl/boy undies on and move on.  You can't sweat every single bad thing said about you.  Don't let them get the best of you.  Not everyone is going to like you.  Not everyone is going to agree on everything either - like I'm sure this post would be somewhat disagreeable.  Oh well.  I'm perfectly ok with that.  These are my personal opinions.  Teaching kids this makes them so overly sensitive.

I want my kid(s) to grow up knowing the world does not revolve around them.  Life happens.  They mean the world to me [above & beyond] and are the most important beings to me, but the world may not feel the same about them.  And that's OK.



xo,
sss

Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween!

This year my little big man decided he wanted to be Ash Ketchum from Pokémon (:  That used to be one of my FAVORITE cartoons when I was younger -- obviously I was stoked.  However, I googled the costume in hopes of finding him one and them mofos were $80+  You have got to be kidding me!  That price was RE-DICK-YOU-LUSS!  Especially for a costume that someone plans on wearing for ONE day/night.  So this year we MADE his costume (: 

I have to admit, my hubby has some awesome sewing skills!  He's such a nice housewife [tee hee not really] or in my words, such a good betch.  He did the sewing and I cut the ribbon and glued it on.  We only ordered the hat; it was $6 on Amazon.  Since it's from Pokémon I'm sure that hat will be put to use more than today. 

I'm pretty sure you're expecting a picture of the costume...?  NOT yet! (:  I'm waiting until tonight when all the kids are together.  Usually him and my nephew have coordinating costumes because they act just like brothers. 

I'm pretty sure I'm more excited than he is for the debut of his costume.

My newbie is going to be a monkey! [Awwwww]  I call him my chunky monkey.  He's so cute I just want to pinch him! [calm your tits, I'm not going to]  After my little big man's costume was coming together, I thought of it a little too late AND after I already bought the newbie's costume - but it would of been pretty dope to have my newbie as Pikachu.  Oh well, maybe next year and so on and so forth? 

I almost forgot to add, but this is my newbie's FIRST Halloween!  So for all my family and friends, expect TONS of pictures.  It'll probably come close to being so many pics that you can put it together like your very own flip book lol

I'm super excited for the kids festivities, but I actually hate Halloween.  It is my least favorite "holiday"....?  [is this really a holiday???]  Other than getting to watch Hocus Pocus and listen to Thriller on repeat - no thanks.  I'm not into the scary/creepy type of shit.  I'm not one of the adults that get all dressed up for today, etc.  And if I did, it was be something fun or skanky [les.be.honest. what chick hasn't], but you'll never see me in some scary outfit.

Anyways... More to come ;)



xo,
sss

This Thing Called Love

 

I love Love.

Kind of; we have a love/hate relationship type of deal going on.

I thought I could share what I've learned about Love; whether it be from my own personal experience or from what I've observed/learned from others.

1.  Love stops time.  At least sometimes it feels that way.  Like when you're with your significant other snuggled up on the couch watching a movie/TV show together, or when you're just riding in the car together singing along to your favorite songs; just enjoying each others company.  Or when you're locked in their embrace and feel the exchange of your body heat from holding each other so close.  Maybe even that moment when your eyes meet right before your lips touch.  It's just the two of you frozen in time [maybe standing in the rain - shut up I watch too many movies] because in that exact moment you're overwhelmed with complete and utter happiness in this perfect Kodak moment with the one you Love.

2. Love is unconditional.  Whether you're a parent or a sibling or a lover - love is unconditional.  I love my boys no matter what.  I'm sure plenty of parents say that, but it's the truth.  There is no word to describe the love you feel for your children [or your fur baby(s) tee hee].  No matter what my children do, my love is unchanging.  Even if my kids hated me for some odd reason [it better be a good one], they will always be my children & I'll still love them.  There is nothing that would change how I feel about them.

3.  Love has more than one language.  As if Love wasn't already complicated...  Everyone should look into The Five Love Languages - it'll blow your mind.  According to the test we took, my husband and I speak the same love language.  However, after further looking into all that shit I believe mine is not the same [it's either Acts of Service or Quality Time].  I demand a re-test [tee hee] But when you do find out each other's love languages, make sure to actually UTILIZE the information.

4.  Love has an expiration date.  It's sad that even canned food can last longer than some of the "love" people feel/express [at least according to Facebook lol].  According to some research, the honeymoon/lovey dovey feeling you experience lasts for a good 2 years.  After that... Good luck! 

**I promise I'm not trying to talk you out of Love**

 

5.  Love can suck.  I'm pretty positive that a lot would agree.  Whether it be because of who you love or the bad luck you have with Love or the things Love makes you do, etc. 

6. You can be IN Love or Love someone.  What. The. Fu*k....?  Have I mentioned how complicated this little shit can be?  In my opinion, to be IN love is more of an emotional high.  It's rather deceiving because a lot of people use the term "falling in love" so once that feeling of "falling" is removed - you have what?  It doesn't require effort like "real" Love. When you experience "real" love, you GROW together.  When you truly love someone you have no regards for their imperfections, but chose to love them because of their flaws/imperfections.  Real love requires effort and is almost like a second job because it requires WORK.

That's all I have for now.  This thing called love is a learning process I don't think anyone will ever fully understand.

xo,
sss



High Expectations

High Expectations.


Hell yea.

I have a problem [one of many].  I've always had it embedded in my mind that because I do something nice for whomever, that it's expected that whomever should return the favor someday.

WRONG.

People don't do nice things for others because they expect something in return, they do it because a.) they're family, b.) they're a good friend, or c.) good people still exist...  I always feel that if I went out of my way to help/assist you or surprise you that you'll remember the gesture & do the same or something similar - or maybe even something way better.

What happens when you have expectations and they're never met?  You're left disappointed.  And ladies and gents, that is the cycle of life.

 

I have this image in my head of what I pictured my life looking like.  Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming of "I wonder if in x amount of years if blank will happen" or "I wonder if the time will come when this happens"...  We're all guilty of it.  I know things happen and plans often change; life throws you curve balls and it's just one big rollercoaster ride [I'm not a fan].  I never thought that everyday meant me second guessing my life decisions.

Being an adult can suck sometimes.

I've just grown tired of the same tired routines, the two-faced people, the same/shady excuses, and so on and so forth.  It's mentally exhausting; everyday shouldn't feel like some uphill battle or Groundhog Day [insert movie reference here].  My 100% is slowly, but surely turning into 100% of "idgaf".  The struggle is real.  I'm kind of torn about it.  You can only be hopeful for so long and that switch in your mind/heart will finally flip and then BOOM - you're done.  I just don't have the time to waste. 

"Some things will never change" -- Guess what!?  YOU can make that change.  I refuse to settle for bullshit [been there, done that].  When you have to sit there and constantly ask yourself why in the hell are you even doing it... Why bother?  If being disappointed a majority of the time leaves you unhappy, isn't it time for a change in pace?



xo,
sss

I'm On One

Hi again!

TWO days in a row!? Say what, say what!?? This is me trying to win you back since I slacked off.

I know I'm not the only one, well at least I know Drake has the same problem...

Trust Issues.

[my bad, I had to]

I'm sure there are quite a handful of us that experience this issue.  I have trust issues from bad experiences all the way to my personal insecurities.

You can go crazy and check up on your lover in all sorts of ways to make sure nothing's going on, but honestly -- if someone wants to cheat, they're going to do it.  It does not matter how many or what kind of precautions you take, truth be told, it's going to happen if that's what they're trying to do.  We are all adults [some may not act like it] but we make our own decisions.

I've been cheated on and vice versa.  I was young and stupid; don't get me wrong, that's no excuse.  And look what happened... My infidelities also caused me to have trust issues.  I figure, if I was capable of doing that who's to say my significant other isn't?  So I put my guard up; if I can't be trusted then I shouldn't trust anyone else.  But cheating isn't only physical; you can emotionally cheat.  So whether it's you sleeping with someone(s) else or exchanging phone numbers or finding someone to text/email/fb msg/snapchat/tweet/kik [holy shit social media!] that could fill that void that you feel you are missing from your significant other -- you're cheating.  If you have to erase those messages/pictures to hide what you're doing -- you're cheating.  If you are doing/saying things you would NOT do in front of your significant other -- you're cheating.

END. OF. DISCUSSION.

If it's not cheating, it's people being two-faced.  Having that feeling of a knife in your back, never goes away.  I've had boyfriends and even some of my girl friends stab me in the back; hence why my friend circle has always been so small.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice, shame on me.  I learned not everything has to be shared.  So I make sure not to use the word "friend" so loosely.

I crave attention.  When I am in a relationship I want your attention; not 24/7, but I would like to have a reasonable amount of it.  I am not a fan of clingy-ness where you can't be apart for more than 5 minutes.  I believe in having some breathing space [or prepared to be stiff-armed].  I like to feel like I am a priority in your life; it may not be #1, but at least the top 5.  When I was younger, if you weren't following those guidelines, I'd find someone who did [stupid idea].  I wasn't going to waste my time on someone who I felt didn't deserve my affection.  If I could do those things for you, then you should return the favor.  I know I sound like one bossy/controlling cunt [whoop there it is], but that was is some of my guidelines.  I want your attention and to be one of your priorities; I don't think that is too much to ask.

I hate to feel vulnerable.  I don't like to let my guard down and let anyone in.  I know people can be hurtful, untrustworthy, evil, scandalous... and the list goes on.  So I would ask myself, "why should I trust anyone enough and let them in?"  To put that invisible wall down meant I was leaving myself open for someone to hurt me.  Who wants to feel that pain?  No one.

I want to feel significant.  Don't we all?  I'm not saying "please talk about me all day to your friends" because that's plain weird and annoying.  But acknowledging my existence is kind of cute.  For example, I was just recently told that my husband brings my name up a lot while he's at work (:  To the guys -- that's lame or annoying [teehee], but to me -- it had me smiling super hard [something I don't do too often].

I am insecure.  I hate that I have really bad low self-esteem & I'm well aware that's up to me to fix.  This is probably like déjà vu for my avid readers, but I like to think that the fact that I'm acknowledging my "problem" gets me one step closer to getting over that shit.  Anyways, the fact that I'm insecure I am constantly comparing my self to other females.  I pick out the ones I find pretty & start the "Who Wore It Best" type of critiquing.  Then I take it a little further with assuming since I find them attractive then so does my lover and then it's like "he probably thinks she's prettier".  Oh, and don't let me find out you have a pretty ex- because then it's like "did he do that with her?" or "he probably liked it when she did/said that"...  Have I told you how annoying my mind is?  [insert me screaming here].

This is EXACTLY what I picture when I think of my mind.

So here I am; one beautiful crazy mess.  I'm also my worst critic.  I'm still working on me, everyday.  I either bottle it up or share with my love/friends or write it all on here for the world to read.

You need trust in every relationship; it builds the foundation to a relationship.

But I'm just curious what other people do to overcome their trust issues.  Feel free to share in the comments [if anyone is out there]!

[HA! You probably thought it was going to be a Drake song (: tee hee]

xo,
sss

Recipe of the Week: Lemon Pepper Chicken

Helluuuuur gorgeous!

So I noticed I haven't posted a ROTW in a good while.  NO BUENO!  And don't worry, I noticed I didn't post at all last week :(  I'll admit it, I'm slacking major.  No worries -- I am here to save your evening!

Ok... that was lame, but shut up and keep reading!

Please... :)

I discovered this recipe on accident.  Yes, I've heard of "lemon pepper" chicken, but never cared to make it nor try it.  Long story short - I took some chicken out to thaw, forgot to go to the store to gather the rest of my ingredients, and then noticed I had lemon pepper seasoning.

As Gru says.. "Lightbulb!" [I love Despicable Me (: with or without my kids]

So here you go, you can thank me later:

*P.S. the measurements are based on your own judgement*

Super Quick and Easy Lemon Pepper Chicken

Ingredients:
3-4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
Extra Virgin Olive Oil [or your preference of oil]
Lemon Pepper Seasoning

13 x 9 baking dish
Mixing bowl


Directions:
1. Preheat your oven to 350
2. Pour about 2-3 inches of the extra virgin olive oil into a mixing bowl, enough to coat all your chicken
3. Sprinkle the lemon pepper seasoning into the mixing bowl
4. Stir, stir, stir
5. Take each chicken, one by one, and toss it around [but don't get crazy] in the mix until it's coated in the oil/seasoning mixture
6. Coat the bottom of the 13 x 9 baking dish with a LITTLE bit of the oil/seasoning mixture, and then place your coated chicken into your baking dish
7. You can even lightly coat the top of your chicken with the remainder of your mixture.
8. Place the baking dish into the oven for 45 minutes to an hour

I serve mine with some yummy mashed potatoes and green beans.

Bon Appétit!



xo,
sss

I'll Love You Forever. I'll Like You For Always. As Long As I'm Living, My Baby You'll Be.

Good morning you gorgeous people :)

Having one child for so long, it was a lot easier about being "fair".  I didn't have to worry about if one thought the other had better toys or better clothes or if I ever played any favorites.

And now there are 2.

One of my worst fears as a parent is if I ever make one of my boys feel like I love the other more.  I don't.   I love & dislike both of them equally [I don't discriminate lol jk].

I try to do my best.; like making sure I'm not only snapping photos of just my newbie or  playing with just my newbie.  I didn't think it would be hard, but the thought always crosses my mind.

I think it's a little more complicated when there's such a huge age gap.  I have an 8 year old & 6 month old.  It's kind of difficult not to baby... the baby; I have to hold him and feed him and talk in that ridiculous tone.  My little big man is at the age where he wants to play outside with his friends or watch tv or play on his DS.

The new school year just started as of this past Monday.  I now am the mom of a 3rd grader!  He's growing up right before my eyes and  a lot of times I can't help but feel like I fail at being a parent to him.  I'm always too busy with the baby or working on my Mary Kay business or complaining about how exhausted I feel from being at work all day or rushing to prepare dinner.  I catch myself AFTER the fact.  I don't want him to grow up thinking his mom was always "too busy" to care.  I always ask him how school was or how did his day go, but to me that's not enough. Every night, whether he's already fallen asleep or is just laying in bed, I make sure I never go to sleep without kissing him goodnight.  Even if I already crawled into my bed and tucked myself in, I jump out of my bed and rush to his bedroom just to tell him that I love him and goodnight.

Every. Single. Night. Because we're not promised tomorrow.

I can't help, but be proud of him.  He has ME as a parent.  I moved him back and forth so many times and he never complained.  As much as I like to have a routine or schedule, I'm always rushing somewhere.  Then lately, I have become so forgetful.  But he takes it all in stride and does what he's told.  He's very well behaved with his occasional whiney/girly tendencies like every other kid.  He's a perfectionist; I sometimes think he's a little OCD.  He's my soccer MVP.  I honestly think he's really skilled in soccer; way better than I did.  When coaches/teachers and other parents approach me to tell me how awesome they think he is, whether it's with sports or just him on a regular day -- I can't help, but make the biggest grin [the one that includes a glow].

Am I bragging? HELL YEA!

That's MY kid.  This is the little boy that I'm guiding to become an awesome adult one day.  He makes me very proud after everything he's gone through.

I don't know what triggered my sappy emotions this morning, but I thought I should share [this is pretty epic and rare lol].  This post might contradict how it began - being fair - but I feel like I'm constantly sharing about my newbie.  So I wanted to share about my first little love (:

I can't say it enough, but my boys are my world.



xo,
sss

Is It Worth It, Let Me Work It

Good afternoon you fabulous readers!

As I had mentioned several posts ago, I have jumped onto the fitness bandwagon.  I wanted to stop complaining about how eww I look and actually do something about it.

I haven't worked out a full week YET.  That is a goal I have set for myself.  On Monday-Friday I usually get to work out at least 3 days.  On the weekends that's a negative (that's my "hey! don't forget you have to play maid too" time - one of my many hats I get to wear).  So if you count running up and down the stairs or running throughout my house like a chicken with it's head cut off - then SURE, I work out on the weekends too.



I'm the type of person that likes to see INSTANT results.  I'm talking -

Day 1: I should have lost my love handles,
Day 2: I should have a nice/toned tummy,
Day 3: My butt would of grew 2 more sizes,
Day 4: I'll get nice big boobies like I see on all the Instagram fit pages,
Day 5: My thighs won't rub,
Day 6: My bat wings would have transformed into muscle vice flab, and
Day 7: I've transformed into a Victoria's Secret model...

Hmm...  Guess what?!  That shit hasn't happened YET.

 

Ok, ok... I know it doesn't happen THAT fast.  I like to dream big [tee hee].  I'm doing my best not to get discouraged or complain that I feel I still look the same.  I know that if I want to see more changes, I need to step my game up.

 

However, I have received some compliments... From my mum... I don't see her all the time even though she only lives in the next town over, but that woman stays busy.  She said I look skinnier -- so I'll take that compliment thank you very much! (:  *Even though I don't see that.  If anything I feel like I've gotten bigger.  My tummy still looks flabby to me and now I'm eating all the damn time [no, shut your mouth, I'm not pregnant again fam].  Apparently that's because of me working out; my metabolism is picking up.

I'm not big with scales.  I'll go nuts over it and start weighing myself ALL THE TIME and I know that's no bueno.  I'm just going to keep trucking.  If I can squeeze in at least 30 minutes, I know I'm at least doing something and that's more than I used to do.  I don't diet either.  I just eat smaller portions [most of the time] and small meals in between.  I don't like when people turn into some health-freak-nazi that counts calories and says no to pretty much everything because it's "fattening" BLAH BLAH BLAH!  I'm still on that #YOLO time shit [tee hee] so I still squeeze in a Big Mac every once and a while.

 

 OH YEAAA!  I almost forgot to share.  My hubby bought me some detox tea as a surprise for me... [I don't know why he would assume I'd be stoked about weight loss lol but it's the thought that counts]  It tastes... DISGUSTING, but I've been staying on track and drinking it everyday - thanks to him.  If I'm running late or just plain ol' forget, he makes it for me (:  I add honey to it though to help with the taste; otherwise it's almost like drinking straight up ginger [yuck].

We have grilled a shit ton of grilled chicken and made a bunch of mixed veggies to prep for our lunches for the week.  That got boring REAL quick.  I don't enjoy eating the same thing EVERY DAMN DAY. 

So if you'd like to be super helpful, feel free to share some healthy food ideas.  I need some variety in my life (:



xo,
sss

I'm Gonna Pop Some Tags

Hello my fabulous readers!

You know that feeling of accomplishment you feel when you purchased something awesome?  Me too!  It's almost as great as trying on some awesome heels/shoes or super cute top and feeling like you're on top of the world because you look so dope in it.

Anyone...? [tee hee]

Here goes nothing...

Hi, my name is Stephanie and I have an online shopping addiction.

I shop when I'm bored.  I shop when I'm feeling sad.  I shop when I'm feeling blah.  I shop when I'm happy.  I shop when I'm stressed. 

Hence the term -- RETAIL THERAPY.

 



I just can't help myself.  I get super duper excited about buying something, but then feel depressed when I update my checkbook... [yes I actually update my check ledger]  I get so excited when I discover that my package has arrived -- it's like Christmas all throughout the year!

So I've made myself this fun *wish list* [idea cred: +Patricia Stoltzfus] of the things I would LOVE to buy, but know better than to actually purchase it.

I have a new found addiction to Michael Kors purses.  Last night while laying in my big comfy bed, I did some online window shopping and discovered these bad boys: Black & Pink Tote, Black Studded Tote, Black & White Satchel, Pink Tote, Saffiano Tote, and Signature Tote,

If I'm not "window shopping" for more Michael Kors purses, I'm usually glued to Forever21 [clothing fix] and Charlotte Russe [my shoe game].

I am doing pretty well though -- I've been utilizing my online shopping time to find a gown to wear to the USMC Ball in November [I'm totally assuming that we're going].  I'm just excited that I won't be all huge and prego this time.

But who gives a hoot.

I'm very impulsive.  When I see something I want - MINE!  I've gotten a lot better though [believe me].  Now when I'm at the mall I try things on first; nothing sucks more than getting home to a top that is too tight or too loose or pants that don't fit your strut.  I hate saying "I'll come back and buy it" because with my luck -- BOOM!  It's gone.

So what are your favorite stores, shopping habits, and faves you love to shop for? 

Anyways, enough of my blabbering - until next time :)



xo,
sss

It's Not Me, It's Your Eyebrows

[Tee hee] - Sorry, my blog post title makes me giggle.

But helluuur my beauties! I thought I'd blog about something silly for a change.

When we observe other people [normally other females], we sometimes ponder "are her boobs real" or "did she have any work done" or "omg she's lost so much weight" or "wow she's gotten a little on the heavy side"...  Why we even think of that type of shit, I have no friggen clue [don't even deny it].  We're females -- the most catty judgmental assholes on the planet.

So what comes to my mind when I see another chick?

Are those her real eyebrows ?!

FYI, my eyebrows are... [drumroll]... REAL.

I sometimes fill them in with some brow powder, but with or without the powder I still have some eyebrows [sorry to disappoint].  So you can go ahead and "lick your finger" to test it out, but all that'll take place is you looking like a total creep licking your finger...  Silly girl.

I was born with dark/thick eyebrows, but noticed [in that timeframe] that *thin* eyebrows was the trend.  As I got older, I discovered I didn't like having thin ass eyebrows and decided to grow them bad boys back!  Which took A LOT of patience.  Thin eyebrows is not MY preference for MYSELF.  I think the thinness or fullness totally depends on the person's face shape or better yet -- their damn preference.

My eyebrows are my obsession.  It's one of the first things I notice on another person.  So I observe how full they are or how high is their arch; with the guys [yes, some guys do get their eyebrows touched up] it's how clean cut they look or how thick they are.  It's a weird peeve of mine [don't judge me].  However, I guess I'm not the only one who is fascinated by my eyebrows [everyone wave to my fan club].

 

 

Here are my tips:



 



Everyone, grab your sharpie...

JUST KIDDING! (:

If you are a fellow eyebrow filler, like myself, I highly recommend brow powder.  If that's not your thing or you don't want to spend anymore money on makeup, eye shadow works too.  Personally, I would use a brow definer pencil to make [or DEFINE] the shape of your eyebrow and then fill it in with a powder.

...But that's none of my business though :)

xo,
sss

Imitation is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Am I right?

I, however, can NOT stand it!

Ever since I was little I couldn't stand when someone copied me; whether it was my hair, or my clothes, or my shoes, etc. [you get my point].  I liked LIKE to be an individual. 

I think everyone should be themselves and not rely or jock shit from other people.

It was different if I was the one who came up with the idea.  Holidays, etc. were a totally different story. 

WTF DOES IT MATTER?

[i guess this is me ranting - which I try NOT to do on here]

I started blogging because I knew while I was on maternity leave I would need something to do.  Mind you, having a newborn doesn't give you too much free time.  I figured writing a blog was similar to having an online journal, but I could still keep certain things *personal [#sorrynotsorry].

So tell me why I'm peeping through my "Following" feed on my Instagram and spot someone I used to REALLY REALLY REALLY dislike.

[honestly, it's been years so I'm pretty blah about it].

So I did what any female would do -- straight. up. lurked.

[muhahaha]

I peeped it too had a blog.  So I'm like "let me check this shit out"... I discovered some of the topics I have already covered, she coincidentally has too... [seriously wtf].

I'm all for blogging; to each their own -- or some shit.  I don't know 100% if it is a legit coincidence or home girl is jocking my shhweet topics...  I like that a handful of my lady friends have picked up the hobby too. 

-- it's more than likely because I disliked her.

I should be flattered [i'll sit and rotate a bit and get back to you on that].

My Dad used to always tell me "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery", but I find it irritating. 

BE AN ORIGINAL.

xo,
sss

Chapter 1 - COMPLETE

mahal kita.  te amo.  ti amo.  je t'aime. 

This weekend we celebrated our *1 Year Wedding Anniversary* WHOOP WHOOP!  I like to think of it as a huge milestone in my life.  I never thought I'd be married... And like Mr. Brown has said -- "Look At Me Now" tee hee [cheesy, I know]. 

When we "found" each other, we weren't looking.  We worked [still do] in the same building; saw each other in passing.  We knew the same people.  I didn't think I was his type [sometimes I think I'm a little too ghetto haha] and I didn't think he was mine either [some stuck up cali boy].  Whether or not you hear his version [me STALKING him- he's full of shit] or mine [that he was STUCK UP], we both agree that we never expected to fall in love each other. 

"We Found Love In a Hopeless Place"

This weekend MY plan was to go to Myrtle Beach again and stay at a resort on the beach; that way we could be beach bums for most of our trip.  Then catch the evening show to watch the Pirates Voyage.

-- BUT --

My hubby had a different idea in mind.  Instead we went to Wilmington [duh fu*k right?]  It just so happens, our first "spontaneous" date/road trip was to Wilmington.  We were only supposed to go to dinner that night, but it ended up snowing.  So to be on the safe side we ended up crashing at a hotel for the night.  He thought it would be sweet if we went back to the same place, same restaurant, to "re live" our spontaneous night [aww how shhweet].

Day 1: We left after work on Friday after dropping off the kiddos with my sister.  My ass was knocked the fu*k out a majority of the ride.  Since it was late & we were exhausted, we ordered pizza for Day 1's romantic dinner :) [daddy would you like some sausage] tee hee!

Day 2: On Saturday we headed to the mall & did some shopping for the kids.  The mall even had an indoor glow mini golf course and laser maze that we both couldn't resist! [I kicked his ass in mini golf - like a boss] Haha!  We then found this bungee/ trampoline thing.  I was  too much of a puss to do any flips [dont judge me]  After our fun mall adventures we headed to the movie theater to watch "Tammy".  It was funny, but I was kind of disappointed it wasn't super duper funny [Melissa McCarthy is friggen hilarious].  Once our movie date was done we headed back to our hotel to freshen up, maybe spoon ;) & then headed to dinner downtown.

**SIDE NOTE** I must admit -- I felt SO out of place downtown.  There were a bunch of bars & clubs that we didn't go into, but I didn't even feel the urge to want to [haha I sound like I was feening].

Sorry, I got sidetracked!  [SQUIRREL].  Dinner was nom noms, just like I remembered it!  After dinner we found an ice cream shop that was oh so delicious.  My wittle self couldn't finish that shit.  After all that excitement we made it back to our hotel & crashed.

We're like an old married couple - tee hee!

I had a good time.  Of course, the fun/relaxing/much needed time had to come to an end [snap back to reality].  We stopped at a Cracker Barrel on the way home; it wasn't too bad.  I'm not going to lie, I missed my babies while away.  I'm guilty of checking my photos/videos on my phone to see their faces.  That was the first time we spent nights away from the newbie.  My little big man pretty much ditches us every weekend -- he's a grandpa's boy (:

It's been a fun/crazy/chaotic year.  If you're a reg then you already read that we celebrated our 1 Year Anniversary on Valentine's Day.  Yup, we weren't dating long before we got married [so whaaat].  This weekend did feel like a flashback though; except last time it was cold.  I miss those times so much.  The spontaneity we had has vanished or become scarce :/  It was so nice to spend some alone time together.  Nooo it wasn't like a full on sex-capade [unfortunately] tee hee jk jk! [maybe]  It was nice to just be able to lay around/go out/relax together.  It's kind of hard though when you have kids; we can't just hop in the car & drive off into the sunset.  Before our newbie was born, our little big man would do the usual and want to hang out with Grandpa on the weekend.  So instead of sitting at home we would dip and go do whatever.

Anyways --

26 July 2013 (photo cred: jws)

Regardless at how much he drives me insane, I look forward to more years to come with the love of my life.

"You had me at Marco..."

[I absolutely love her cover of this song!]

xo,
sss

Do Over Anyone?

If you had a chance to do something all over again to change some things here & there, would you take it?  Here's the catch, [just like what you see on the big Hollywood movie screens] if you change the smallest thing in the past, it's like a domino effect all the way to the present...

I'm pretty damn sure I'm not the ONLY one who wishes there was a handy time machine [I see you!].

This randomly crosses my mind when it's quiet or I'm alone.  But, alone time can be bad news for me.  It gives my mind time to wander about all the good and bad; the "what ifs" and "could be".

 

I ask myself "what if" I had actually listened to my parents when I was in high school and behaved myself; would I have gone off to college?  What would I have gone to school for?  Would I have gone to a college here in the same state as where my family resides or would I have gone off to somewhere foreign to me?  Would I have met someone while I was in college?  Would we have gotten married?  How many kids would I have had?

I also go to the disappointing/bad/depressing thoughts [you knew it was coming]...  I ask myself "what if" he wakes up one day and says he can't stand my bitchiness anymore and wants to leave me?  How would I react?  What will happen to the kids and me?  What if he drags me all the way to the other coast just so he can leave me?

-- SIDE NOTE --

I really haven't been myself.  Though I don't share it vocally, I know I'm not.  I don't see the point in sharing with anyone like "Oh hey guys... I'm a little too sad all the time..." etc.  [keep it to yourself attention whore]  I like to bottle things up, so I can explode later - said No One Ever.  I make up stories in my mind that are usually depressing or anger me.  I have plenty of times through out the day where I want to break down and cry, it can be over something small or nothing at all.  Then there are my mood swings.  Everyone has there good & bad days, but woOooo I feel like my settings are on some other shit.

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

I am ridiculously annoying.  Hold up, don't agree! -- I'm referring to my thought process. 

I'm well aware that I've done some stupid/crazy shit in the past.  They say to never have regrets, but helluuurrr -- I do.

HOWEVER.

If you spend so much time worried about what happened in the past, you can never enjoy the present.  So I've heard.  If I never did some of that stupid/crazy shit, I wouldn't have some of the things I do today.

My precious babies <3.

I know Mama can be a little cray cray at times, but my they mean everything to me.  My little big man can say or do something silly and get me to smile.  His randomness is my favorite.  He's always full of questions whether they pertain to the conversation or not.  Then there's my newbie who has the biggest grin, it can change your whole mood in a heartbeat. Aaand even though it irritates me, their random farting makes me laugh [lmao - no matter how old you are, farting is funny]

I wouldn't have met my husband.

We're actually a couple days away from our * 1 Year Wedding Anniversary * [gasps].  I don't understand how celebrating your anniversary came about.  Are you celebrating because of how many years you've managed to stay in love with each other or is it more on the shocking side...? Like "holy shit! We ACTUALLY made it! Who would of thought!?" Haha!  [haha just some food for thought].

I'm still unsure if I'd ever want a do over.  I'm not totally stoked about how my life is playing out at the current moment, but I don't know if that counts for a do over.  In one of my recent posts I said I was making changes, well what if some of the changes can't come from me...?

Ugh... What's a woman to do?

Until next time!





xo,
sss

Put Your Face On

Good morning beautiful(s)!


So as you already know -- I am NOT a beauty guru.  I'm still in the learning stages - call me an amateur [only this once betch].

I feel like I have a shit ton of makeup in my makeup bag for someone who doesn't know much nor wear that much in the first place.

So if you'd like to achieve my boring look, my staples of my everyday makeup regime include:

- Concealer (covergirl tru blend fixstick)
- Mascara (mary kay lash love)
- Lip Exfoliator (e.l.f.)

These are my MUST-HAVES, otherwise I feel like I look dead or tired or run down or blah or bleh or meh or I'm in one of my "f**k off" type of moods.

[and if I'm not running behind]

- Brow Bar (bh cosmetics)
- Eye shadow (mary kay)
- Blush (mary kay)

I'm in the stages of finishing what I have so then I'll be using EVERYTHING Mary Kay (:  Because I'll be damned if I throw away all my makeup I bought prior to MK #sorrynotsorry tee hee

I don't carry my makeup bag in my purse.  I see some of my females friends do so... Hopefully none of my guy friends do [aca awkward] I sometimes end up paying for it though :/  I just feel like it's more unnecessary shit to carry along with the random Legos/snacks I find in my purse from my little big man or snack

No thank you.

So I'm just curious, what is everyone else's makeup must-haves?



xo,
sss

This is Me

Good morning my fabulous readers!

So this past weekend we had a big family trip to good 'ole Myrtle Beach.  I love that place.  I realized that everytime I get a chance to go there - I never get to actually go to the BEACH.  Like wth..?  This time around my whole family went to the Myrtle Waves water park.  It was ok ish, the kids definitely had a blast.

It included:
- shitty/poor service (insert check mark here)
- tons of water slides [the cornsnake was my fave, or the toilet bowl as my brother liked to call it] (insert check mark here)
- yummy food [dippin' dots, Italian ice, pizza, funnel cakes, fried Oreos] (insert check mark here)
- wave pool (insert check mark here)
- misleading hours online & their marquee (insert check mark here)
- cabanas [we rented one for both days & loved it] (insert check mark here)
- lazy river (insert check mark here)
- incorrect/misleading rules/guidelines online (insert check mark here)

It wasn't horrible to the point it ruined my weekend, BUT I don't enjoy standing outside for an HOUR after they said they were supposed to open.  There were storms first thing early that morning, but it had stopped before we left our hotel.  The right thing would of been to announce to the waiting crowd or perhaps put up a sign that they were waiting due to storms in the surrounding area.  We got NADA.  They were letting assholes cut in line.  I don't care if you're pregnant or not, that doesn't entitle you to shit on everyone's patience who have been waiting in line for over an hour. 

Anyways --

It's been almost 6 months since I've had my newbie.  My body is still "not up to par" in my eyes.  My husband always offers his sweet encouraging words of how good I look, but a lot of times I think he says it to try and boost my confidence.  My family and friends do the same.  Yes, I lost most of my baby weight, but my stomach is still kind of blah.  I'm just good at giving the illusion that I'm back to being thin [tee hee]! 

As of 2 weeks ago, I was brave enough to finally go to the beach.  I was terrified!  I used to be such a beach bum.  I would go every weekend; just my little big man and me or with my family.  If I got off work early, I'd head to the beach.  I had gotten stretch marks from my first pregnancy, but over time they faded and with my tan you couldn't really see it.  So wearing a bikini meant nothing to me.  Well somewhere along the way, something made me panic and I stopped going.  It was as if my confidence went on E and my self-esteem was low.  I'm not joking or exaggerating when I say it's been YEARS. 

As of this past weekend, I was at the water park for 2 days for hours on end.  I'd walk around with my hands/arms crossed awkwardly over my stomach.  When I'd sit down I'd usually put a towel over my lap and curl up to hide my gut.  I was mainly around my family, but even then I didn't want anyone to see me.  Every once in a while when I was wandering around the park I noticed someone take a glance at my stomach.  I'd just keep my chin up & slowly move my arms to block the view. 

So on day 2 of our trip, I walk into our cabana and my son asks me - "mommy why does your stomach look like that??"... OUCH thanks bunghole lol I just smiled and told him it was because of him and his brother.  I know kids don't know any better.  They're so innocent and outspoken and will ask you or tell you in a heartbeat whatever crosses their little minds.

I'm to the point now where I dislike seeing myself naked.  So I'm sure you can assume the same applies when I'm around my hubby.  I am 100% guilty of comparing myself to what society thinks is what we all "should" look like.  I want a thin, flat stomach.  I want thighs that don't rub together when I walk.  I want my stretch marks to disappear.  I want my love handles to make themselves scarce.  I want my arms to be toned.  I want my C-section scars to go away.  I want all my scars to fade or disappear.  I want to be a little fuller in the boob department and maybe just a little more in my booty - just a smidge more.  But...

This is me.

I'm short.  I have freckles on my face and arms that only turn darker when I'm out in the sun.  I have scars from my eczema, boils, and C-sections.  I have love handles.  I don't have a flat stomach when I sit down.  I have thunder thighs.  I have small feet.  I think the space between my boobs and hips are disproportionate [thanks +Patricia Stoltzfus lol].  I have an ass that fits my body type.  I think my belly button has gotten deeper thanks to pregnancy.  I have stretch marks on my love handles from carrying a 8 lb, 9 oz baby boy and a 9 lb, 14 oz baby boy.

I've earned my stripes.

Hopefully someday I will grow to appreciate them.  I know some people would trade stretch marks any day just so they can have and hold that sweet bundle of joy that helped you earn those stripes.  I'm aware that I sound really ungrateful and unworthy, I know.  I know how lucky I am, but I resent what my pregnancies have done to my body.  I don't mean to come off superficial.  I just feel like I'll never get my body back.

Well --

Today marks the day where I start doing something about it and stop complaining.  I can't see any changes until I make changes [look at me being all motivated and positive].  I need to learn to love myself.

Wish me good luck!



xo,
sss

Happy

Is there such thing as giving your all… too MUCH or too FAST?

I’m on the fence about it and I don’t know if I’m going solo here.

Say you start dating someone and the instant you’re an item or become “official” you do anything and everything for them…

Is that good or bad?

I feel like that’s what I did. Since we’ve been living in hyper-speed it wouldn’t really surprise me.

It starts off all innocent: “sure honey I’ll wash the dishes after I just cooked us dinner”… or “no problem honey I’ll wash that by itself since you forgot to put it with the rest of the laundry before I washed everything”… I was so happy at the fact that I found someone [other than my little big man] I would be willing to do anything for.  So HELL YEA I'll clean up after you & want to take care of you, etc.  I'd always sweep it under the rug.

No big deal, right?

I think doing all of that just ends up spoiling them because now it’s expected. If it's not happening on both sides -- we have a problemOoo.  That one-sided bullshit isn't my fave.  

But life isn’t fair.

When you put in all your time and energy into one thing, it’s like your life pretty much revolves around it; whether it be a person or some kind of obsession or habit. So then what do you have left? What do you do when you don’t have that anymore? You’ve become so dependent on that one thing that without it you feel kind of lost, maybe sometimes empty or lonely. Almost like you "need" them/it to feel happy..? I might be hanging by a thread here, all by my lonesome, but it’s one of those weird things that cross my mind.

If you base your life around a person, don’t ever lose yourself – make time for yourself. That person will not always be there. 

In a way it’s kind of hard for me. I have a handful of friends. I don’t really hang out with anyone. I’m either at home with my husband and kids or with my family. Lately I’ve been trying to get more involved with my Mary Kay business and participating in the non-mandatory meetings and get togethers so I have time away from home. I’ve been putting myself out there to make “new” friends so my husband doesn’t get sick of me. He hasn’t said it, but who wants to tell their significant other that they don’t enjoy being around them ALL THE TIME? He’s said something along the lines of “why do I need to text you when I see you every day” so it’s only a matter of time before I hit a nerve.

 

Cue +Patricia Stoltzfus – “you’re your own worst critic Stephanie!” :p

I know I'm my own worst critic, but I also feel like I’m somewhat of a realist. It’s reality. I know people grow to be sick/tired of each other when they’re cooped up with each other too much or for too long. It’s life; that’s why loving someone is so damn hard. You put yourself out there, take the risk of being hurt, and then have to put in work to stay in love. Then you have where it’s one sided or it’s routine or it’s too much. BLAHHH!  Damn, we are some complicated assholes. Sorry… I’m rambling…
 

Since I’ve been “re-evaluating” my life it’s just something I’ve observed. 
 

My life revolves around my husband and kids.

I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but it’s my reality. Some days I love it and I’m glowing with satisfaction because of how proud I am of myself, but there are other days where I’m so mad and furious that I did all of this to myself.

 

I’ve become such a worry wart [that term sounds... just eww].  I don’t want to lose myself.  I like who I am [sometimes] and I don’t want to become dependent on anyone else.  I have finally come to the realization that you can’t depend on anyone else for your own happiness.  I’ve heard that line before, but never cared for it; now I hear it loud and clear.  If you depend on anyone else then that leaves room for disappointment or heartbreak, etc.  
 

Aint nobody got time for that!

Anywho – 

• Find your happy median
• Don't lose yourself
• Make time for yourself
• Find what makes you happy

 

xo,

sss

Lights. Camera. Action!

It's SHOWTIME!

So this past Saturday I finally had my debut party for my Mary Kay business.

It was a...  SUCCESS!

A normal party is usually 5-6 people.  I had 14 who R.S.V.P.'d, but had 9 show.  From what I've been told -- that's A LOT (:

I was so nervous!  I woke up early [like usual] so I could start preparing the food I had planned and to give me time in case my newbie woke up.  Which he did and wouldn't let this mama catch a break.  So I woke up his daddy & reminded him he had baby duty ALL day (:  So off to the kitchen I went.


My menu was:
-  Buffalo Chicken Dip
-  Fiesta Ranch Dip
-  Veggie Platter
-  Fruit Bowl

Well some of the ladies I invited didn't really know me; they were invited since their hubbies work with mine.  So we decided we'd also have a mini BBQ so their hubbies could stick around to make them feel more comfortable.  Turns out only 1 came from that group of invites.  Which was no biggy; we still had a good time!

Addition to my menu:
-  Hot Dogs
-  Burgers
-  Beer

My lovely director did awesome as always.  All the girls liked her and all I had to do was sit there and look pretty take notes :) tee hee. 

Pretty much everyone ordered.  I made over $540!

I'm on a mission.  This is my hustle.  This is my grind.  I was terrified at first considering I don't have a lot of girlfriends and I'm definitely not a people person [at least I didn't think I was].  This business isn't making me do a double take.  I actually enjoy it! 

The recognition I get and how successful I've been so far is... empowering.  I feel like I can do anything.  The unit I'm with is amazing too!  It's full of awesome women, full of fun/creative ideas to keep their businesses going strong.

So far I have one member on my team -- that took me by surprise too.  I'm glad she did though.  That didn't take place at my party, that happened at one of our monthly "Girls Night Out".  I would love to expand my team, but that's not a personal goal I set for myself.  If it happens, it happens.

 

 

 

xo,

sss