I'll Love You Forever. I'll Like You For Always. As Long As I'm Living, My Baby You'll Be.

Good morning you gorgeous people :)

Having one child for so long, it was a lot easier about being "fair".  I didn't have to worry about if one thought the other had better toys or better clothes or if I ever played any favorites.

And now there are 2.

One of my worst fears as a parent is if I ever make one of my boys feel like I love the other more.  I don't.   I love & dislike both of them equally [I don't discriminate lol jk].

I try to do my best.; like making sure I'm not only snapping photos of just my newbie or  playing with just my newbie.  I didn't think it would be hard, but the thought always crosses my mind.

I think it's a little more complicated when there's such a huge age gap.  I have an 8 year old & 6 month old.  It's kind of difficult not to baby... the baby; I have to hold him and feed him and talk in that ridiculous tone.  My little big man is at the age where he wants to play outside with his friends or watch tv or play on his DS.

The new school year just started as of this past Monday.  I now am the mom of a 3rd grader!  He's growing up right before my eyes and  a lot of times I can't help but feel like I fail at being a parent to him.  I'm always too busy with the baby or working on my Mary Kay business or complaining about how exhausted I feel from being at work all day or rushing to prepare dinner.  I catch myself AFTER the fact.  I don't want him to grow up thinking his mom was always "too busy" to care.  I always ask him how school was or how did his day go, but to me that's not enough. Every night, whether he's already fallen asleep or is just laying in bed, I make sure I never go to sleep without kissing him goodnight.  Even if I already crawled into my bed and tucked myself in, I jump out of my bed and rush to his bedroom just to tell him that I love him and goodnight.

Every. Single. Night. Because we're not promised tomorrow.

I can't help, but be proud of him.  He has ME as a parent.  I moved him back and forth so many times and he never complained.  As much as I like to have a routine or schedule, I'm always rushing somewhere.  Then lately, I have become so forgetful.  But he takes it all in stride and does what he's told.  He's very well behaved with his occasional whiney/girly tendencies like every other kid.  He's a perfectionist; I sometimes think he's a little OCD.  He's my soccer MVP.  I honestly think he's really skilled in soccer; way better than I did.  When coaches/teachers and other parents approach me to tell me how awesome they think he is, whether it's with sports or just him on a regular day -- I can't help, but make the biggest grin [the one that includes a glow].

Am I bragging? HELL YEA!

That's MY kid.  This is the little boy that I'm guiding to become an awesome adult one day.  He makes me very proud after everything he's gone through.

I don't know what triggered my sappy emotions this morning, but I thought I should share [this is pretty epic and rare lol].  This post might contradict how it began - being fair - but I feel like I'm constantly sharing about my newbie.  So I wanted to share about my first little love (:

I can't say it enough, but my boys are my world.



xo,
sss