Thirty-One.

THIRTY ONE. Another year older. 

On my birthday I like to reflect and check myself.

What have I accomplished?

What are my goals?

What do I want to improve?

What to I want to maintain?

Am I happy?

You get my point.

I can honestly say that I’m proud of who  I am becoming. I feel like I’m slightly a little more laid back (baby steps, people) and I don’t always let little things get the best of me. Now I’m not saying some things still don’t bother me to my core, but now I choose to not react every time. You have to pick and choose your battles, right? I’m normally so quick to snap at someone or say what’s on my mind the instant I think it, but now I think that I handle myself a lot better. I’m not so quick or eager to clap back, I think before I speak (most of the time lol), and I control my expressions a little better. 

One of my main focuses this year is my fitness/health. If you follow me on Instagram then you know how often I workout and that I don’t just walk around in athletic wear lol I love working out because I feel better mentally/physically, it gives me confidence, I feel stronger, and I truly enjoy learning more about it. Maybe one day I could get certified and train people, who knows...? 😉

I’m becoming a firm believer in “speaking it into existence”, putting it out there into the universe hoping it’ll listen. Or maybe the act of saying something out loud actually puts you into action... I have a big goal in mind, or perhaps a new dream, that I want to put into action. I’m really hoping that this year I can because the thought of it gets me so damn excited.

As I reflect I see how I’m changing and I like it! Physically I’m still a work in progress, but I’m happy to report that it’s in the direction I want. Im not into weighing myself often because I like to lift and I don’t do a lot of cardio. I’m gaining more muscle and really focusing on that mind-muscle connection.

Obviously change can go either way, good or bad. Sometimes you can get so caught up and have that “tunnel vision”  that you lose yourself or lose sight of your goals. Never forget where you started, who was there, and/or why you even decided to. 

I like to remind myself where I started by looking at my ‘before’ photos. Seriously progress photos are so helpful. And sometimes it’s deeper than looking a certain way; maybe you started because of your health. My hubs always supports and assists me in everything I do. As well as my Dad who always tells me how proud he is and likes to make my head big telling me that I motivate him. 

I started working out because I was tired of not liking what I saw in the mirror. I would constantly complain, but do nothing about it. So finally I decided if I wanted change, I had to change. 

But let’s not just talk about physical change, even change in your mental or how you carry yourself. If you have multiple people telling you the same/similar issue, it’s time to re-evaluate yourself! If you are the constant denominator in a negative situation, it’s time to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. If you always have drama, check yourself. It can’t be a coincidence that more than one person is bringing up the same thing. The people you hold near & dear or who are closest to you try to look out for your best interests because they care; they may see things you don’t because your head is too far up your ass or your head is too high in the clouds - lets just call it that “tunnel vision” lol. So don’t be so quick to be defensive to those who have been there from the get-go. There may come a time where you can’t rely on them anymore. You need to remember who’s always there when things fall apart and don’t take it for granted. I am guilty of this. 

But all that “nagging” coming from all directions is life’s way of throwing up warning flags for you.

I think that growing and maturing comes with being able to admit your wrongs just as you would admit when you’re right. I know I have some toxic traits and I can admit it. I’m now 31, but I’m still growing and learning. 

You have to find balance. I struggle with this everyday; whether it be with food or with life.

I know recently the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant & everyone else onboard that helicopter has been a huge eye opener for everyone. It was a reminder that not everyday is promised. Since then it has been a constant thought in my head. 

So with that being said I’ve made a promise to myself:

To pay more attention to my kids. There is nothing on this planet that is more important than your children - PERIOD. 

To LIVE. 

To do something everyday that makes me happy. 

To remember to take care of myself. 

To smile. 

To be kind. 

To remember to call my parents more. 

To check in with my siblings more. 

To laugh more. 

To never forget where I started in my fitness journey. 

To keep dancing.

To stop comparing myself. 

To remember I’m my own competition. 

To be thankful. 

xo,

Steph

Hello -- Again.

Whats up guys?!

If you're new to my blog, hi I'm Stephanie.  And if you're returning to my blog, hiiiiii!

Per the usual, I figured "it's a new year, why not start blogging again?" So here I am.

It's been so long so I'll give you a quick summary of what's happened in my life.  My husband did return from deployment (yes, my blogs are that behind).  He's now a Drill Instructor.  I still work out, but with better focus and I've learned quite a bit).  My kids are still constantly growing too fast.  I'm still a stay-at-home mom.

But I thought what better way to make a comeback, than to share one of my near and dear stories. I'm sure I've shared some of it before; I may have even blogged about it in the past. But here goes nothing...

Where do I begin?

I was 16 & pregnant (before it became a TV show).  Never did I ever imagine that I'd be "one of those girls".  But of course, I was young and stupid.  I thought I was invincible.  Boy, was I wrong!  Unfortunately, I don't have many photos of my pregnancy.  I was too busy feeling humiliated, embarrassed, and scared - to name a few.  Plus it would have been evidence of my bad decisions.  Any photos that I do have I had covered my face or asked that my face not be in it.  At the time I thought that I would never want to look back on these moments.  Again, I was far from right.  I wish I had photos of how my baby bump progressed every month.  But how should I have posed?  Hold my belly and stare with so much admiration and anticipation?  Candidly laugh with excitement?  It was such an odd time for me.  It wouldn't have been the full 9 months considering I didn't find out until I was 5-6 months pregnant.  [insert surprised expressions and gasps]  Yup, you read that correctly.  That my friends is what happens when you have (a little TMI moment) an irregular period.  Not only did that play a factor, but I'm a small person so I wasn't really showing.  Anyways, I didn't get to enjoy my pregnancy like most people envision or hope to.  My whole mindset was survival.  Luckily, being pregnant didn't deter me away from my schooling.  I continued going to school until it was close to my due date and then I was home schooled for a short while before/after the birth of my sweet baby boy.  I was due on New Years Eve, but he wasn't ready so I was almost 2 weeks overdue before I was finally induced.  I ended up having an emergency c-section instead.  But the relief was short-lived; this was only the beginning.  I now had this little baby depending on me which made it much more real that my life had changed completely.  I'm forever grateful that my family helped me, rather than abandon me.  I still got to play soccer and I graduated high school.

Although I resented myself for bringing a baby into the world while being so young, I don't regret him.  Having him made me grow up.  He taught me to take responsibility for my actions, even if it was inadvertently.  He made me better.  I could have easily taken the cowardly/easy way out - had an abortion and pretend it had never happened.  But I couldn't do that to someone so innocent just because of my naive actions.

*Actions have consequences*

My pregnancy may have brought some unwanted attention to myself and my family, but here we are 14 years later and thriving.

He's an all star athlete.  He's strategic.  He likes to play chess.  He is a picky-eater, but tends to like foods I'd least expect (spicy tuna rolls, broccoli).  He's competitive.  He's reserved and quiet until you get to know him.  He loves sweet tea and chocolate milk.  He plays Fortnite constantly.  He likes singing and enjoys singing in his school's talent show.  He's taller than me (and never lets me forget).  He's (for the most part) a great big brother.  He still lets me hug him. He picks the most random times to give me hugs and little pecks on the cheek.  He would eat McDonalds and Dominos everyday if he could.  He wants to be a pro soccer player or Youtuber.  Regardless,

Forever my baby he'll be.

xo,
steph