As some of you may know, my time is ticking at work; where I worked for the past 7 years & some change. When I posted my VLOG I mentioned it being bittersweet.
*Newsflash*
It still is.
I now have 20 work days left here. Am I counting down? Yes. Why? I'm nervous. I'm scared. I know this isn't some rare occurrence in the friggen world, but it's a first for me. I am quickly approaching new territory.
What else is a big stress-er? We are still waiting to here back about my husband's re-enlistment [I know I sound like a broken record, get used to it]. I am very curious as to what the USMC has chosen as our new "home".
Any hoot -
You would think that since I'm finally getting what I want [-ish] that I'd be excited. I'm used to working for a living. I am used to having my own money & contributing to our household financially.
Lately I feel guilty whenever I spend money. I keep second guessing every purchase I make; asking myself if I really 'needed' whatever I bought. To state the obvious, on my last blog post [rewind here] I shared that I went on vacation. Well that vacation was planned PRIOR to me being told that I'm being "let go" [elsa?]. So you would think that when you're on vacation you should be relaxing and being somewhat carefree. I couldn't. I was worried we'd overspend.
However, I think I'm the only one worrying. That's typical Stephanie behavior [eww I'm talking in third person...] I'm the one who handles/organizes/worries about everything.
This crap pretty much put a stop to my BIG plans. I wanted to buy a brand new car. I was already in the mindset of "bye bye used car!" - NOT. My lesson is I probably shouldn't have counted my chickens before they hatched.
All this is making me so blah and kind of sad. My main social interaction is at work. My husband and I don't converse much once we get home ;) [ooo la la! jkjk] We're usually too busy playing on our phones, watching TV, making dinner, or interacting with our kids. Plus, him and I have horrible communication - THAT topic is a totally different blog post that I'll get to one day. My 2 best friends are at work [Patty you're still my bff so don't panic]. It'll be weird not seeing & annoying them everyday.
I know there's nothing I can do. On the plus side of things we'll be saving a shit ton of MU-LA-LA [b*tch betta have my money!] thanks to NO MORE child care expenses! <-- This is my attempt at being optimistic. I'm trying to be more positive about what's to come and relax a little more. I'm trying to believe that all of this is happening for a reason [BOOM with the cliché!].
Forgive me if I sound like I'm trippin over nothing as if I'm in a Friday 13th movie.
*P.S. thank you to all of you who give me feedback; the comments, Facebook messages/comments, and Instagram comments, etc. I can't say it enough, but it definitely brightens up my day to know that you enjoy reading my thoughts & it also reassures me that I'm not speaking to myself [ta ha].
xo,
sss
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