Emotion Roller Coaster

Hello all of you beautiful people.

My has it been a rollercoaster ride mixed with a pinch of talent of walking on egg shells.

 

So we have about 2 weeks left here in lovely NC.  If you must know, YES I'm still sad and not excited about it all [you'll be stuck reading this in a lot of my future posts for a while - beware].  I'm beginning to feel more nervous as time continues to slip away.  I feel a little more relieved each time we cross off stuff from our agenda.  We went to our last USMC ball which was short/sweet because the Husband was so uncomfortable in his dress blues and we had children to pickup.  Our final house inspection went well; we ended up not having to pay anything other than prorated rent for two days.  We finally got some exciting news that we actually have a place WAITING for us for when we get there - talk about a weight being lifted OH MY GAWD!  I didn't like the idea that we were stuck on a waiting list and had such a big time frame as to when we "might" get off of it.  There is one thing that flagged my nerve - there's NO A/C in any of the houses over there.  Now I don't know about you, but I happen to like having OPTIONS.  Yea, yea, yea...  So we'll be near the beach - I don't care, you don't know my temperature preferences!  Another exciting event on our Agenda is we decided to celebrate my Little Big Man's birthday one last time here, surrounded by family and friends.  Surprisingly with both of us being procrastinators at times, we've already reserved his birthday location.  Now I just have to make sure I order a cake on time [one year I almost forgot lol]. 

For the time being we're staying with my Parents until it's time to hit the road.  My, oh my, has it been interesting.  It's like all of the timers on everyone's ticking time bombs are about to go off.  It's like that pimple on your face that's on the verge of popping, that nut you're about to catch, or that fart that's been bubbling in your gut getting ready to say hello from your backside...  It's happening.  We're a big ass family with a bunch of different personalities that don't always play well together.  I don't know if they're all supposed to go off before Christmas, on Christmas, or what, but I can sense the tension in the air.  I think it's because we've been cooped up together more than what we're used to and we've quickly reached our quota.  I know we're all trying to adjust to living together and trying to not step on anyone's toes, BUT - have you met my Mom?  She has a lot of different rules/regulations/stipulations/guidelines/laws...  [I think you get it]  So I've TRIED to clean up after my little squad; which that task is a toughie when you have a toddler and two boys [my Husband acts just like my Little Big Man].  However, my Parents have been VERY accommodating!  My Dad has been extremely helpful (like always!) with my Little Big Man; making sure he's up for school, dropping off/picking him up from school, fixing him breakfast - this is like HEAVEN for him both of them right now.  My Dad has a tendency to spoil the shit out of these grandchildren ["it's their job" yeeea shut it].

 

I'm still this big ball of emotions and it's so annoying.  A lot of times I have to hurry and think of a different topic so I don't randomly start balling my eyes out.  I can tell that all of us are a tad A LOT bit stressed.  The snappiness game is too strong right now.  Everyone handles their emotions differently.  You have the ones who are just straight up sensitive.  Then you have the ones who will say what's on their mind [why heyyyro].  Then you have the ones who seem like they stay mad.  One person, from what I've observed, will not let me catch a break - ever.  I can be on my best behavior and think I'm doing a bomb ass job, but then get served with a pink slip that reads "swerve".  You would think by now I'd be used to it, but yet I still have yet to understand it.  A lot of times I feel like that because I'm so outspoken and tend to be the "rebellious" child that that's somehow cause for resentment or maybe that has given me a life time access VIP Pass to being labeled as the guilty party.  You can place me in a room full of people and somehow my name will be dropped into the mix; I could even be asleep in that room full of people and I'd still be blamed for murder.  I will never understand it.  There are plenty of times where there's been some big family blowout and afterwards I've pondered what the hell did I do that there's always that hostility towards me.  I wouldn't say it's hate for me, but a lot of times I feel like the scale is definitely heavier on that side.  I would say it's because of us moving away, but it's always been this way.

 

Here's a funny [not really], short story I thought I'd share to lighten up the mood [kinda]:  We have both of our cars *PAID OFF* [say word], but we can only be reimbursed for one.  So our other option is to ship one of our cars.  The other day my Husband mentions he thinks we should look into a bigger car to make our trip easier; that way we wouldn't have to worry about shipping one, we can ride more comfortably, more room for our shit, etc...  It was like music to my ears because when I was still employed I had been begging for a bigger car.  So one day we peeped several car dealerships in the area to see what our options were [I seriously felt like a little kid at a candy store].  He kept reminding me that we were just LOOKING and that we're not going to be impulsive [hi, my name is Stephanie and I am an impulsive shopper].  So can someone please explain to me why NOW we are NOT getting a bigger car!?!?!?  Apparently, I misunderstood him.  He said he meant he was only looking into it incase we wanted a new car a couple years from now...  So maybe I've lost my damn mind or something, but I don't know what that had to do with making our move easier...  Now I know what puppies children [same thing right? jk] feel like when you tease them with treats.  So please remind me to never get excited over anything when he says it; k thanks.

 

I can't believe Christmas is TWO DAYS AWAY!!!  [being it's now past midnight and I'm still editing]  I'm starting to feel pretty hyped about Christmas though [despite being jipped on a new ride lol].  I bought candy canes because what's Christmas without any!?  I even discovered Mint Chocolate candy canes...  They are so delicious!  I've already heard the best Christmas song "Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays" by 'N*SYNC -- "I'ma let you finish, but 'N*SYNC had one of the best Christmas songs of all time!" [in my Kanye West voice lol].  In all seriousness, this is my favorite time of year.  I love the music, the decorations, the "togetherness" or the idea of, and shopping [helluuuuur sales!]...  Okay, and presents [duh we all do].  Anyways, I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and hopefully I can post before we drive cross country!

 

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!
xo, sss