Today I actually had an entirely different post drafted up, but this one hit closer to home.
Lately I feel like I've had to constantly explain myself; my decisions and/or my actions. From my little big man questioning WHY he has to get up at a certain time or from my family questioning my parenting skills. My feelings and attitude have and still remain as "I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN SHIT!"
I've just always been that way. Me = Bitch
The way I see it is, it's my life and my consequences. I will ask for your advice when I feel I need it, but it does not mean I have to take it.
It's my right, right? [tee hee]
When it comes to my children, what I say goes. They are my little spawns who I have to mold into responsible/fabulous human beings. It's part of my job as their parent. If I say they can have ice cream for breakfast - they can. If I say they can dance to Britney Spears' greatest hits all afternoon - they can. If I say they can stay up past 10 - they can. Why? Because I said so; I'm their Mom. *Not saying that's what's really going down, so relax there killer.
It's my prerogative.
When it comes to my body, what I say goes. If I want flaming orange hair, then I will make it happen. If I want a piercing where the sun don't shine, then [ouch] I will get it done. If I want to get a tattoo of a "W" on each ass cheek, then I will.
It's my prerogative.
When it pertained to who I liked (as an ADULT), it was my choice. I believed it was my prerogative who I wanted to be with. I mean it's my feelings and my body, etc. So how DARE someone tell me who wasn't right for me!
Will the real dumbass please shut up? [that escalated quickly]
Sadly, this post is not about me standing up for my prerogatives as confusing as that sounds. I'm sure a lot of my examples sounded quite outlandish and straight up immature.
Yes, we all have our prerogatives [plus I really enjoy listening to that song lol]. However, when your family and friends are telling you things like that - it's because they care and are concerned. They're not trying to control your life. If you would turn off your Defensive Mode and actually listened; they're trying to help. If you're hearing the same thing from more than one person that's a flag that something isn't right.
From my experience I wish I would of listened to everyone. I thought I knew what I was doing, I thought people could change, I thought I could rekindle that romance - WRONG. I had so many people telling me the same or similar things, but I ignored them. I wasted 6-7 years of my life because I was too stubborn to listen. I was stuck on "if I want to do this then I can if I want because it's my prerogative."
If I could go back in time...
and change any time someone voiced their dismay about my crush or my lover - I would say "thank you" instead of lashing out or telling everyone and their mama that they need to mind their own damn business...
BLAH BLAH BLAH!
Sometimes you're so caught up in the moment that you're not paying attention. I'm glad I've grown up and matured enough to have a better understanding of what it means for people to care about me. No one is taking away my prerogatives, they're just voicing their concern. At the end of the day you're going to do what you want. It's like once you become the age of an adult [not always the mindset of one] you refuse to let anyone tell you any different than what you think is right.
Stop trying to rebel - you're supposed to grow out of that.
xo,
sss
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