Monday, September 29, 2014

High Expectations

High Expectations.

Hell yea.

I have a problem [one of many].  I've always had it embedded in my mind that because I do something nice for whomever, that it's expected that whomever should return the favor someday.


People don't do nice things for others because they expect something in return, they do it because a.) they're family, b.) they're a good friend, or c.) good people still exist...  I always feel that if I went out of my way to help/assist you or surprise you that you'll remember the gesture & do the same or something similar - or maybe even something way better.

What happens when you have expectations and they're never met?  You're left disappointed.  And ladies and gents, that is the cycle of life.

I have this image in my head of what I pictured my life looking like.  Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming of "I wonder if in x amount of years if blank will happen" or "I wonder if the time will come when this happens"...  We're all guilty of it.  I know things happen and plans often change; life throws you curve balls and it's just one big rollercoaster ride [I'm not a fan].  I never thought that everyday meant me second guessing my life decisions.

Being an adult can suck sometimes.

I've just grown tired of the same tired routines, the two-faced people, the same/shady excuses, and so on and so forth.  It's mentally exhausting; everyday shouldn't feel like some uphill battle or Groundhog Day [insert movie reference here].  My 100% is slowly, but surely turning into 100% of "idgaf".  The struggle is real.  I'm kind of torn about it.  You can only be hopeful for so long and that switch in your mind/heart will finally flip and then BOOM - you're done.  I just don't have the time to waste. 

"Some things will never change" -- Guess what!?  YOU can make that change.  I refuse to settle for bullshit [been there, done that].  When you have to sit there and constantly ask yourself why in the hell are you even doing it... Why bother?  If being disappointed a majority of the time leaves you unhappy, isn't it time for a change in pace?


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