Wednesday, January 28, 2015



TWO posts in ONE week?! Say what, say what???

This is a fun post, that's all about... ME! (:

Yesterday I realized that it was 8 days until my birthday. I normally already have a countdown going around Christmas time... [tee hee] But seriously, my friends would hate it because I would constantly remind them. So when I stumbled upon that realization I was kind of shocked. I'll be 26 next Wednesday.

Can I start saying I feel old yet???

Any who, I thought it would be fun and totally vain to post a birthday *WISH* list [yaaaaaay!]

1. Who doesn't LOVE Victoria's Secret? Whether it be their super expensive bras or their cheeky panties [uhh that's such a dirty word] or their fabulous perfumes.  I LOVE it all. However, it is weird to share that with my family... I can picture my dad/brothers cringing in disgust [ta ha!] Well boys, that's what giftcards are for.
--Bombshell perfume
--Tease perfume
--Pink perfume
--PINK bras size: 34C [itty bitty titty committee, party of 1], colors: black, neon hot pink, firecracker red, buff

2. I may have a small obsession with Forever21. If I could I would wear leggings EVERY. DAMN. DAY. I would. Apparently, that would be frowned upon in my office [or so they say!]
--Ideas: Cute, Cuter, Fancy, and Ooolala
--color: plain black
--size: small

3. Since I work in an office environment I own a lot of blazers/cardigans; looking all spiffy and professional. I try my best not to wear them outside of work because HELLOOOOO! I probably already took a selfie or #ootd pic in it... [I kid, I kid] But am I the only one who notices that???
--colors: black, tan, burgundy, pink, peach, mustard yellow, olive green, black peplum
--size: medium

4. Like panties [uhh there goes that dirty word AGAIN], you can never have too many camisoles.
--colors: black, white, brown, pink, mustard yellow
--size: medium

5. You'll start to notice a trend, but I already admitted I have a problem. My FAVORITE black knee-high wedge boots from Forever21 are not looking so NEW anymore :( So it's time for a new pair.. or two? [who cares that spring is on the way!?]
--color: black
--size: 6

6. I found these super cute socks at... Forever21. By unanimous vote, they should be added to my wardrobe.
--size: umm... small? or whatever size fits a size 6

7. I dream of the day I have long lushful [is that even a word?] lashes. Until then, I really like L'Oreal Paris Telescopic Mascara. {you can find it at Wal-Mart or any drugstore}

8. I think everyone's wishlists should also include some necessities. I'm running out of my FAVORITE dry shampoo. If you don't use dry shampoo, YOU SHOULD. {can be found at Ulta or any drug store}
--original scent

9. One of my goals this year is to read more. I love reading and I've been slacking so much in that department. I've been trying to finish reading Fifty Shades and haven't yet! [wtf] It's a great book and once I start reading I can't put it down. However, being a parent I sometimes don't have a choice but to put it down. I came across this book and think it's quite fitting for me. I also really enjoy learning about Greek Mythology, so I thought this was pretty neat.  {check the bookstores}

10. I've mentioned it plenty, but I have stretch marks [eww I know]. I want to try this body scrub that's supposed to help make them fade and it won't make my eczema freak the fu*k out.

11. If all else fails, I love coffee mugs [funny ones!]

12. Now this is the part where I get pricey. My 2006 ride doesn't have an Auxiliary Input Port; that's just... UNJUST! So maybe installing one in my car would be cool?

13. I'm just throwing this out there for my hunk of a husband, but maybe I can upgrade my iPhone 5S to a iPhone 6?! :) [who knows, you could get laid lmao]

Ok, ok I think I'm done [thank God!]. Again, it's a *WISH* list and it's for shits & giggles.


Monday, January 26, 2015

Shoulda Coulda Woulda


GOTCHA!  I'm going to be honest and say I really did enjoy the reactions to my last blog.  The blog pic was very misleading, but I'm happy it got your attention.  I should do that more often ;)

B. Tee. Dubs -

I totes love the feedback.  At first glance it usually looks like I post and just talk to myself or I converse with my #1 fan -- my pops (:  But I do get texts, Facebook/Instagram comments & messages, a phone call, or even in person telling me they love reading my blog or there was something I wrote about that they could relate to.  Honestly, it truly makes me happy.  I'm very confident about my writing technique [one of the few things I'm confident about] and I'm glad people enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing it.  If I could write a column for a magazine...  Oh em gee - I can't even right now [for some odd reason I'm on my white girl hype, forgive me]. 

What If?

What if you didn't take that job?  What if you didn't spend so much on that last shopping spree?  What if you didn't marry whomever?  What if you didn't quit?  What if you would of said no?  What if you waited?

And the list goes on...

Like most of my fellow *overthinkers* that question comes to mind like a reoccurring nightmare.  It's so friggen frustrating! 

I sometimes wonder, what if I didn't entertain a certain someone's interest?  Would I still have ended up where I am today?  Probably not [please note - I am not speaking from regret]  I'm happy I found the love of my life.  It's just a lot of times I feel like I'm holding him back; which I've stated before.  I've grown out of going out and have become such a hermit.  Where as he enjoys doing anything that means having a good time; I like to occasionally.  I'm well aware I talk about my marriage a lot and it's not always about the good things; which sparked the question: "do you ever feel like you share too much about your relationship?"  My reply: Not really.  If I wanted to I could go more in depth and get down to the nitty gritty, but I don't.  Surprisingly, I do like to keep some things private.  I like to be open and share what's on my mind.  Sometimes I hope to hear that I'm not the only one who thinks/feels a certain way.  My marriage is important to me and I take it seriously so of course it's always going to be on my mind.  Just be glad I'm not sharing the sexy details [tee hee]

Another question: "am worried about some of the things I write about?"  Well the answer is: no.  Before I start bitching that "it's my right" and "freedom of speech" let's -- pump. our. brakes.  I have always been the type where I didn't really care if anyone likes it or not.  Helluuuur!  This is MY blog full of MY opinions and MY point of views; I'm well aware not everyone will agree with me.  I'm perfectly okay with that.  My intent isn't to hurt anyone's feelings; I just like to call it like I see it.  I'm aware no one likes to hear [or in this case read] the truth. 

I know - or hope - that I'm not the only one who falls into that "what if" slump.  My advice is to not stay in that slump.  It's ok to think back and question yourself sometimes, but don't back track.  You can't move forward if you're constantly looking back or trying to live in the past.  So... wait for it...  Everything happens for a reason [BOOM! Perfect cliché

I know this can't top my last blog post, but it'll do for now -- I'm trying to get on track & blog weekly :)  So stay tuned!


Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Baby #3


To be or not to be... 

THAT is the question.

I'm totally kidding!  [which I would not announce a pregnancy via blogging to my family - they would whoop my ass lol] I'm actually talking about how many times I get asked "so Steph, when will you be having baby #3?" or "Steph, will there be another baby or are you guys done?"

Excellent quechen [in my Miranda Sings voice (: lol]

I grew up in a big family.  I love having a big family.


I don't know if my sanity can handle anymore kids.  I usually tell people I do have 3 kids already; my little big man, my newbie, and... my hubby.  He is very similar to a man-child #truth [ta ha].

I thought that with just one child life was a little harder.  First things first - [I'm the realest - I love me some Iggy Azalea lol] I was still a teenager; OF COURSE I thought life was so hard with a little person depending on me.  I was still going to school.  I was playing soccer.  I still had a lot of growing up to do.  I finally had to get a job. Luckily for me, I have an amazing family who helped me and made it as easy as possible for me so I still had somewhat of a "normal" [I use that term loosely] upbringing.

Now that I have two kids -- I feel like having one was a breeze!  Even with there being two of us to be parents I feel like I'm going crazy.  I suck at schedules/routines - and that's what babies/kids need.  If you ever come to our home - it's loud, crazy, chaos - or organized chaos?  There's definitely never a dull moment.

Do you know how often I have my cell phone or my sunglasses IN my hand and I'm going nuts searching for them...?

"See my impatient face right here?"
(If you don't understand the pic/caption, please be sure to watch the movie 30 Seconds Or Less)

Quite frequently.  It's the Mom Brain.  Before, I got to blame it on the pregnancy.  Now I blame it on being a mom of two [or three] :)  One of the many privileges of being a parent lol

Okay, so enough of the joking.  All jokes aside - I don't have a straight forward answer.  I honestly do not know if we ever [in the FUTURE] want to add to our family.  I believe that's a big decision.  I don't know if I'm ready to sacrifice this blob of a body for another round of expansion.  Having two kids and two c-sections has left me with slim to none in the confidence department.  My "hot" body has totally depleted.  Also, I can't stand when people continue to pop out babies to: 1.) "fix" their marriage, 2.) baby fever, 3.) they don't have enough sense to use some type of contraception, or 4.) benefits.  I think you should attempt to be more financially stable.  I would say be more "prepared" BUT I don't think you can ever be 100% prepared for a child(ren).

-- by the way --

I'm apart of a local wives group page and one of the topics discussed was (not verbatim) "I hate when people say they're not financially stable for a child because I don't think that's a valid excuse"...  Bitches be crazy.  Can someone please explain to me how it's NOT a valid excuse???  I guess you should rely on government assistance...?  No.  Don't get me started; that's a whole different topic for a different day/blog lol

-- back to the topic --

So will there be a Shaw Baby #3?  Who knows, maybe one day later in life.  You should totes continue to follow me on my blog ;)

When you're a parent I don't think you can ever find a balance.  I don't believe in finding a balance; you either find or become content with your life decisions.  Life is full of chaos and it can be beautiful or it can be a pain - it's what you make of it.


Monday, January 12, 2015

I Need a Vacation From My Vacation


Happy New year!

I think this has been the longest hiatus in my blogging world.  It's been a week since I've returned from my vacation and my body is still paying for it.

This year Last year [that feels so odd to say] for the Christmas/New Year holidays we flew to California to spend it with my hubby's family/friends.  As much as I enjoy being around his family/friends, sadly that was the FIRST Christmas I spent away from my family; not only that, but they didn't get to celebrate my newbie's FIRST Christmas with us.  I was extremely homesick for the most part; ALL of my siblings/nieces/nephews were all home for Christmas - BUT me.  Since we've all gotten older and some of us have families of our own, it's a rarity to have us all under the same roof at the same time.

Everyone was so excited to meet our newbie.  The last time his family saw him was when he was born.  So you can imagine the big difference in his appearance for not seeing him for so long.  He's almost a year old now; so he's bigger and started walking a week or 2 before we came to visit.

I was so worried that with all the excitement of meeting the newbie, everyone would forget about my little big man; it was a hit or miss.  I get it - the newbie is the first grandchild for them and that's my hubby's child by blood, etc. [trust me, I've heard all the excuses].  It gets irritating, but I make sure to remind everyone that we have *TWO* kids.

I learned we definitely do celebrate our holidays a little differently.

They have a party on Christmas Eve where their family and some friends come over.  Then on Christmas Day after the excitement of waking up in the morning & opening presents, they go over to their relative's house [which was most of the people we saw the day before] and eat over there.  On New Year's Eve we went to his friend's grandfather's house and spent it with his friend's family...  And might I mention - the view was uhhmazing! I have a small obsession with the view of city lights.

As for my family, we have a Christmas dinner [honestly, I don't remember if it's on the Eve or Day of Christmas].  We invite any of our friends who didn't have plans or couldn't make it home for the holidays.  We spend Christmas Day together as a family hanging out around the house or messing around with the presents we received.  On New Year's Eve I spend it with my family.  My Mom always told us you should bring in the New Year with the people you love & want to share the New Year with - that & to make sure you have a dollar in your wallet and a platter of fruit on the table...

So for New Year's I was HIGHLY irritated, pissed, angry, upset, & sad that I didn't get to bring in the New Year with my 2 little munchkins; even more that it was our newbie's FIRST New Year celebration.

Honestly, I don't like to go crazy and party for the occasion.  I am perfectly fine with celebrating the New Year AT HOME.

While we were in CA, I had the opportunity to hear [on repeat] my hubby's plan for our his future.  If it wasn't that it was his friend's trying to convince me that CA would be a great place to live, etc.  Moving to CA would be the FIRST time I move far away from my family.  The furthest I've moved away from my family was 30-35 minutes away; so living on a whole different coast is a BIG change.  Obviously, I'm not too excited.  Do I have a choice?  No.

-- time out --

I'm well aware he's in the military; moving comes with the territory.  I grew up on that type of game plan.  What I dislike is his reasoning.  The only reason we would move to CA is so we can be by HIS family and HIS friends [mind you I don't have too many friends].  Supposedly that is considered "fair" because we've been living near MY family and MY friends.  *FYI - MY family and MY friends and MYSELF were living here BEFORE we met.  So I don't know how that's "fair"..?

Am I being bitchy?  Yes.

Another reason is he's always wanted to work for CHP.  He grew up in ONE place with the same people; well he wants that for our kids too.

I didn't realize being raised as a military brat is considered the "wrong" type of upbringing.  That's how I grew up and I think I turned out ok... [I said I think]  I didn't get to grow up in one place & grow up with the same people.  However, I'm grateful I've got to live/visit a lot of places.  Surprisingly, I actually am still in contact with a few of my childhood friends and yes I've lost touch with some too.

PCS'ing is a touchy subject, but it's inevitable.

What I've also learned while being in CA is what I say holds even less weight.  Almost everything I suggested or planned was changed/flipped/chopped/screwed - whatever, you name it.

All I have to say is - I will not complete with any other female when it comes to my family.

That's one of my rules which I think is very sensible.  How are you supposed to live when you have other people dictating your life?  I don't do well with people trying to boss me around [ask anyone that knows me].  We have our own family.  We have our own parents and siblings that are family, but we have created our OWN family.  So I can ask for advice, etc. from my parents/siblings, but I don't hold their words higher than my husband's.  Does that make sense?

I'm probably making it sound like it was some God awful/horrible vacation.  It wasn't.  I had a good time, minus the daily dose of board games.  I can only handle those like once/twice a month; that's my quota.  I definitely loved the variety of places I could shop at or restaurants I could dine at.  I also enjoyed spending time with his family/friends.

It was a long two weeks.

Now we're all in recovery mode.  I think my little big man has adjusted back to our home life/time, followed by our newbie.  As for us parentals... we're still adjusting lol

After that cornucopia of fun, I had to hurry and plan our little big man's NINTH Birthday party festivities!  [I still can't believe he's nine!]  I swear time really does fly :(  We were supposed to do that BEFORE we left on vacation, but you know how that goes.  I've become the biggest procrastinator & - I hate it.  He happens to share a birthday with my baby brother.  So unfortunately for my baby brother, he usually ends up spending his birthday at my little big man's parties :/  This year it was a little different than our norm, but it was a great turn out.

And for my next trick?

Planning our newbie's FIRST birthday party next week.