Saturday, May 16, 2015

Dear Mom

Good Morning!

Happy 'Belated' Mother's Day to all you Moms out there!

I know it's almost been a week, but I didn't realize until now that I didn't post anything for Mother's Day.


This story has always stuck with me so I thought I would share.  When I was really little (3 or 4?) we used to live in California.  I used to hang out with a girl in our neighborhood who was older than me.  Well she had a habit of ditching me when another girl (who was closer to her age) would come out to play.  One day she asked me to come out and play so my Mom let me go outside.  Well as soon as we step on to the playground, out of nowhere that mean ass other little girl shows up & tells me I can't play with them because they're going to go play; totally ditching me AGAIN.  I considered her my best friend so it hurt my feelings.  So I came back inside the house crying my eyes out because no one wanted to play with me, but my Mom sat me on the counter and told me I could hang out with her because she was still my friend.

Now fast forward to the present -- We had a family dinner one night and as the evening was coming to a close, we all began to give everyone our goodbye hugs, etc. - the usual.  As it was my turn to hug/kiss my Mom goodbye I went to pull away thinking our embrace was reaching the almost awkward timeframe, my Mom pulled me in tighter and whispered "Anak I love you... I know I don't tell you that all the time, but I love you very much..."  I can hear her voice begin to tremble, which in return made my eyes well up and my throat tighten.  My Mom isn't one to express her emotions so it took me aback.  It made me realize how my Mom and I don't even live that far apart, yet I miss her a lot.

Growing up (I still am, just not physically) I constantly argued with my Mom.  I guess you could say that's typically what most girls do growing up because we're going through all those changes, etc.  It was pretty much any time my Mom said something I thought it didn't make sense or it was straight up dumb.  There was plenty of times where I would just roll my eyes because I didn't think she knew what she was talking about (you would of thought that I learned my lesson after the first slap that rolling my eyes wasn't the way to go - wrong).  I have never been super close or best friends with my Mom like some girls are.  We don't talk on the phone often.  I don't share all my juicy secrets with my Mom (more so because I don't have any).

My Mom is Filipino.  I probably had a slightly different upbringing than some of you due to cultural differences.  My Mom never taught me what happens when you get your period, just that I would get mine someday.  My Mom didn't believe in wearing makeup.  I didn't get to shave my legs until I was in middle school (& I mean LATER in middle school - do you know how embarrassing that was?).  My Mom used to always bitch at us to clean - ALL the time - like it's supposed to be an EVERYDAY chore.  My Mom would always tell us we HAD to finish what was on our plate and we got in trouble if we didn't.

I could never understand it.  At the time I felt like she just did it to be mean or just wanted to bitch at us.

My mom didn't believe in us wearing makeup because she didn't think we needed it.  She told me before that I was already beautiful and it didn't matter how much makeup I put on, that if I was ugly on the inside everyone would see through all that makeup anyways.  She taught me that makeup didn't cover up an ugly personality.  My mom made us clean up after ourselves so when we were on our own we would live in a clean house.  My mom made sure we finished what we had to eat because there were plenty of people who weren't as fortunate as us.

It's ironic and funny when on multiple occasions while I'm bitching about things around the house or at my husband/kids and realize that I sound just like my Mom - & I've learned that's not a bad thing.  My Dad always tells me the reason I don't get along with my Mom is because we're just alike.

I don't always tell my Mom how much I appreciate her.  She (along with my Dad) have shaped me into the woman I am today.  I've learned how to take care of myself and my family.  I now have a case of OCD when it comes to the cleanliness of my home.  She has taught me that I need to be beautiful on the inside/outside.  She has taught me to not be wasteful.  She has taught me to stand up for myself (hence why I've very opinionated).  She made raising us 6 kids look so easy and effortless; which I continue to idolize.

So once again, Happy Mother's Day Mom.

I love you Mom,

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