So this past weekend we had a big family trip to good 'ole Myrtle Beach. I love that place. I realized that everytime I get a chance to go there - I never get to actually go to the BEACH. Like wth..? This time around my whole family went to the Myrtle Waves water park. It was ok ish, the kids definitely had a blast.
It included:
- shitty/poor service (insert check mark here)
- tons of water slides [the cornsnake was my fave, or the toilet bowl as my brother liked to call it] (insert check mark here)
- yummy food [dippin' dots, Italian ice, pizza, funnel cakes, fried Oreos] (insert check mark here)
- wave pool (insert check mark here)
- misleading hours online & their marquee (insert check mark here)
- cabanas [we rented one for both days & loved it] (insert check mark here)
- lazy river (insert check mark here)
- incorrect/misleading rules/guidelines online (insert check mark here)
It wasn't horrible to the point it ruined my weekend, BUT I don't enjoy standing outside for an HOUR after they said they were supposed to open. There were storms first thing early that morning, but it had stopped before we left our hotel. The right thing would of been to announce to the waiting crowd or perhaps put up a sign that they were waiting due to storms in the surrounding area. We got NADA. They were letting assholes cut in line. I don't care if you're pregnant or not, that doesn't entitle you to shit on everyone's patience who have been waiting in line for over an hour.
Anyways --
It's been almost 6 months since I've had my newbie. My body is still "not up to par" in my eyes. My husband always offers his sweet encouraging words of how good I look, but a lot of times I think he says it to try and boost my confidence. My family and friends do the same. Yes, I lost most of my baby weight, but my stomach is still kind of blah. I'm just good at giving the illusion that I'm back to being thin [tee hee]!
As of 2 weeks ago, I was brave enough to finally go to the beach. I was terrified! I used to be such a beach bum. I would go every weekend; just my little big man and me or with my family. If I got off work early, I'd head to the beach. I had gotten stretch marks from my first pregnancy, but over time they faded and with my tan you couldn't really see it. So wearing a bikini meant nothing to me. Well somewhere along the way, something made me panic and I stopped going. It was as if my confidence went on E and my self-esteem was low. I'm not joking or exaggerating when I say it's been YEARS.
As of this past weekend, I was at the water park for 2 days for hours on end. I'd walk around with my hands/arms crossed awkwardly over my stomach. When I'd sit down I'd usually put a towel over my lap and curl up to hide my gut. I was mainly around my family, but even then I didn't want anyone to see me. Every once in a while when I was wandering around the park I noticed someone take a glance at my stomach. I'd just keep my chin up & slowly move my arms to block the view.
So on day 2 of our trip, I walk into our cabana and my son asks me - "mommy why does your stomach look like that??"... OUCH thanks bunghole lol I just smiled and told him it was because of him and his brother. I know kids don't know any better. They're so innocent and outspoken and will ask you or tell you in a heartbeat whatever crosses their little minds.
This is me.
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I've earned my stripes.
Hopefully someday I will grow to appreciate them. I know some people would trade stretch marks any day just so they can have and hold that sweet bundle of joy that helped you earn those stripes. I'm aware that I sound really ungrateful and unworthy, I know. I know how lucky I am, but I resent what my pregnancies have done to my body. I don't mean to come off superficial. I just feel like I'll never get my body back.
Well --
Wish me good luck!
xo,
sss
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